From the Bei to the Bay.

What a year.

Seriously, what a year. Repatriating was not as difficult as I originally thought it was going to be. It doesn't mean it wasn't a little difficult. I miss my all my Beijing peeps, Ayi, and Great Leap so much. On the flipside, I am so happy to be able to cuddle my Mozzarella aand Pepperjack, have a pool 15 steps from my front door, and fresh jalapenos within driving distance.  I am also real glad to be back in my American kitchen... And I guess living on the same continent as my husband is okay.

Here are just a few things I started truly noticing since I made it back to fresh, free, American soil:

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW BLUE THE SKY IS?

 

I feel a little like a door to door religious proprietor here, BUT ACTUALLY GUYS, HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW BEAUTIFUL AND BLUE THE SKY IS? My heart nearly exploded my first night home. I sat out on my deck and enjoyed the mostly-pollution-and-light pollution-free sunset. It was perfect and full of pinks and purples. I had not witnessedsuch incredibly clear skies in a long, long time (minus the trips to Indonesia and Australia of course). And now I get to see those gorgeous sunsets nearly every night. On top of that: stars. So. Many. Stars. Seeing stars used to be an inside joke in Beijing, now I see them almost every night and they still make me so happy.

Everything is so quiet. So. Damn. Quiet.

My family lives in the south, south bay. I hear the occasional train. Sometimes car horns, but in general, the majority of my night is full of frogs with no ability to STFU, crickets, and silence (and my fan, because I'd be lost without it). What is this wizardry?

I CAN READ FOOD LABELS!

Food in China is CHEAP and delicious. Emphasis here on the delicious. I probably (COUGHCOUGHDEFINITELYCOUGHCOUGH) spent way too much money on imported goods simply because I was far too lazy to learn a few characters to find the Chinese version. When I go back, I will change this.

I can talk to anyone!

This realization hit me the minute I stepped off the plane in San Jose. The airport attendants were removing my luggage from the luggage carousel and I wanted to ask a question, but I stopped myself. I vividly remember thinking, in that moment, that even if I asked, I probably wasn't going to get a response. You know, because they probably spoke Mandarin and I don't. Then I realized, THEY CAN UNDERSTAND ME! And that was the moment I knew I could talk to everyone again. I am almost a year into moving home and I still deeply regret not learning more Mandarin. I miss China every day, and listening to the locals talk is something I loved. So whenever I hear anyone in the Bay start speaking Mandarin, I become the biggest creeper and try to listen in to see if I recognize at least one word. No shame.

AND FINALLY,(AT LEAST FOR THE MOMENT):

Any toilet is a squat toilet, if you want it to be.

Actually, though. If Beijing taught me anything (and Beijing taught me lots of things) it is that any toilet is a squat toilet...if you want it to be. I am the master of public bathrooms now.

Thanks, China. For everything.

I'm Coming Back.

It's true, my time in China is rapidly coming to a close. This year has been so fast, so fun, so random, so.... everything. Here's what you need to know about my repatriation to American soil:

I've learned about 15-23 Chinese sentences. Yes, most of them are insults or curse words. So don't bother asking about my Chinese skills when I get home. I have none. 

                                      

Mandarin is hard. Really, really hard. I got excited the day I realized that I wasn't hearing a jumble of tones and actually able to distinguish when one word started and ended. My point and nod game is strong. And I'm damn proud of it.

This was easily one of the greatest years of my life. 

                                      

But seriously, I worked my hardest to live this year in superlatives. I've made the best friends, partook in the best shenanigans, laughed the hardest, danced the longest, ran through countries, drank the most beers, watched the sun come up far too many times to count, ate the greatest food, wished this life could go on forever. This year has been the fastest whirlwind of adventures and I'm so thankful for everyone in it. 

A piece of me will always be in Beijing.                        

I complained about this city a lot. Getting push on the subway sucks. Watching a kid piss in a water bottle or shit on the street became far too normal. The terribly biting cold or sticky heat. 200+ pollution. The gamut... Despite those things, I was surrounded by the most loving and supportive friends anyone could ask for, but there were many times when I wished I could just fall asleep on my rock hard bed (because soft bed is bad for healthy) and wake back up in California. I missed my family, I missed Tucker, I missed my pets, I MISSED FRESH JALAPENOS . I know the minute that my plane takes off I'm going to bawl like a child because I truly love Beijing. I love how random my life was. I love my Chinese coworkers giving me health advice. I love going to Great Leap four times a week because Great Leap was the closest I felt to being home. I love it all. I may be leaving Beijing, but a little piece of my heart will always being stumbling down dirty bar street with my girls trying to get a tuktuk driver to take me home.  

In a nutshell:

Surviving Beijing Winter

THE SUN AND WARMTH ARE COMING BACK!
I feel like I can write a post about how awful Beijing winters truly are.
I thought that I had been exposed to some pretty blustery, wet, winters before, but Beijing is in a league of her own when Winter hits.
It's October and you go from wearing shorts to fur-lined leggings in a matter of days.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly when it turned from roughly gorgeous and 65 to a windy, freezing, hell in this city. I look back on pictures from Halloween when I ran around in a Sports bra and wonder how I pulled it off. I would have to wear multiple layers of clothes to bed even. One night I wore a regular shirt, a sweatshirt, a jacket, a fleece coat, two pairs of leggings and socks to bed. I'm not even exaggerating. It was that damn cold. Not to mention, the heat in our apartment was finicky.  Knowing that was just the tip of the ice-burg.....

I wore nothing but leggings for roughly three months straight.

From November until roughly mid-February... And it was the best part of winter. They're warm. They're easy to get on and off. I could wear black ones for days and if I didn't spill any malatang on them no one would know they were the same pair from the day before... I bought probably six pairs at Yashow (the local cheap market) and lived in them. No shame here my friends, no shame.

Netflix became one of my closest friends and confidants. 

I binged on more Netflix in the last three months than in the last three years.... combined. I watched far too many pointless documentaries, every A&E real life show and campy horror movies. There were plenty of times I would see my reflection in the screen while the ticker counted down until the next episode and wondered what I was doing with my life.

I spent a lot of time "coping"... and by coping I mean at the local breweries/ running around Sanlitun/ in my room with a bottle of wine.

The bartenders at many places now know my name, my order, where I'm from, how long I've been married, how long I've lived in Beijing, how long I'll stay in Beijing, when my husband is going to be in Beijing, and I've given many people nicknames. Winter is hard. Ok?

I spent too much time dreaming about my amazing vacation.

Luckily, nearing the end of Beijing winterhell was our two week Chinese New Year festival vacation. I spent hours at my desk googling all the amazing places I was about to go to. I'll post about running around Cambodia and Vietnam soon..... But seriously, dreaming about those two weeks of freedom kept me sane.

I got horribly ill for two weeks before vacation.

This was probably my least favorite part about winter. I spent the first two weeks of February in my bed, questioning my life choices and blaming my room mate for introducing picklebacks to me.

Dreaming/ talking about/fantasizing about Summer became an all too frequent occurrence in my life.

My roommate and I would start so many conversations with, "oh when summer starts." or  "Summer was so fun". Dreams of summer will take over your life during Beijing winter. 

I had my favorite local delivery company bookmarked on my computer.

Some times, you just want to lay in your bed and eat a pizza in your underwear. Most of those times are during Beijing winter. I'm pretty sure I got the same delivery guy more than once and he would give me the "oh, foreigner girl don't want to leave the house huh" look. I feel bad, I live on the fourth floor and don't have an elevator. But also,  you can get wine delivered to your front door at 10pm too! 

So, here we are, finally at the home stretch. I'm back in jeans without freezing. I'm ready to retire my Uggs and wool socks. It is getting warmer outside at night. We are all coming off of two weeks of vacation... But seriously Elsa, time to cut the crap.

The 5 Stages of Getting Sick in China.

Well, it's finally happened. I got sick in China. It started with a slight cough and stuffy nose. The next thing I know I am stumbling around like an extra on the Walking Dead. Here are the five stages of being sick in China:

You start feeling the tickle in your throat and blame it on the pollution.
China is one of the last places I've ever wanted to be sick. Not only do I have no idea to get to the only hospital my insurance covers, but I don't know how to communicate that I feel like the end is near. This is my waking nightmare. I was just hoping to blame  200+ pollution... please, no sickness right now. I leave for vacation SO SOON. Please, please, please. No, no, no.

Denial. 
I assume I'm fine and just a bit congested because it is Beijing and it is February. This place is cold and dry. I roll into work and one of my work friends says, "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you look like train wreck". Not only that, but students were telling me, "I lost my sound once, it took six days for me to get it back".  Of course he was recounting a time he lost voice and of course he meant I'd lost my voice.... and it was then I finally admitted I could barely talk, let alone teach.

All your Chinese coworkers start giving you health advice like such as:
"Drink hot water."
"Stay away from spicy food. Bad for health."
"Eat Porridge. It's bitter, but helps".

I'm not going to lie, I do enjoy hot water quite a bit now, but I don't know if that is going to make me quit hacking like a smoker or get rid of this horrific headache and sinus pressure.

You finally muster up the courage to visit a pharmacy to buy medicine and you are directed to take roughly 26 pills in one day.

I want to say I'm exaggerating this, but I' was supposed to take 6 nasal decongestants 3x a day and 4 cough suppressants 2x a day. When this got translated to me, my first question was, "is this going to kill me?".....

SWEET FREEDOM. 
It took me nearly a week, nearly 185 pills, and lots of sleep to get over what ever vile monstrosity had taken over my body, but I will forever swear by Chinese medicine.....

.....and hot water.

A Letter to My Husband, Who Arrives in a WEEK!!!!

Dear Husband, 

Damn, I've missed you! Six months on opposite sides of the planet is crazy, but guess what? We (almost) did it! I love you so much! I cannot thank you enough for supporting me through the roller coaster that moving to China alone is. I love it here, minus the fact that you're 14 hours behind me and 7,000 miles away.... Beijing is amazing, all the craziness aside. Since you're coming to China for the first time in seven days, I should probably prepare you for a few things about life in Beijing:

Prepare to  be pushed, touched, grabbed, in a constant state of claustrophobia, and have no personal space.

There's a lot of people here. A lot. Like nearly 1.4 billion a lot. And they're everywhere. At times it can be hard to walk down a side walk and sometimes getting on a subway is a lightweight sporting event. Just be ready.

Prepare for Beijing's clubs/ Sanlitun Bar Street (aka Sanlitun University). 

The clubs and bar street are so much fun! SO MUCH FUN! There is always something going on out there. I'm dragging you out to at least one club...... and we are going to dance until the morning and drink ridiculous amounts of free champagne! You don't have a choice! 

There's noises that you have never heard before, but you never want to hear again.... at all hours of the day.

Could be construction, could be piano lessons, my roommates stumbling in at four am, horns (lots of horns all the time, everywhere), people throwing a chruar party outside my window, that random guy that rolls by my apartment like a damn rooster and yells because he is looking for work, or kids laughing in the stairwell at midnight. I'm telling you, brace yourself. It's never quite quiet here.

Get ready to see more body fluids than you thought possible.

Kids poop or pee in the street or in the subway or anywhere, people spit all over the place, and I see puke on the ground at least once a day and this is totally normal.

Get ready for horrible, biting, Beijing cold.....

If you thought Oregon was bad, you have NO idea what you're in for. Bring the biggest, warmest coat you've got, any/all pairs of gloves and hats. Seriously, lots of hats. I had to invest in the saddest earmuffs the other day (I secretly love them, shhh). I'd even tell you that you should invest in man-leggings. It's that cold and windy here.

.....and horrific pollution.

Ok- in all honesty, since the APEC Conference we've been ridiculously lucky in Beijing. I am probably jinxing it as I type this, but be ready for anything. You've read the talk on the news (and shared some articles with me I think), now you get to walk the walk. Hey, at least we'll get some fabulous mask selfies!

Get excited for some of the best food of your entire life

Malatang, Baozi, Jiaozi, Tea Eggs, Kung Pao Anything, Great Leap and Slowboat Burgers, incredible craft brews, ridiculous curries,  $0.50 liters of Tsingdao- so bad, but so good, Chruar, Jian Bing,  Soy Fried Rice, Pork Belly, Peking Duck... I could go on for pages. The food here is incredible.

But also, get yourself ready for some stomach problems.

Getting sick from Chinese food is a right of passage.

And mentally prepare to question what you're putting in your mouth, but never truly wanting to ask someone. 

No point. Just don't ask. It's better that way for every one. I fully expect that you'll put something in your mouth that you will immediately spit back out and if I don't hear you exclaim, "WHAT DID I JUST EAT!?" at least once, I'll consider your trip a failure.


Prepare to meet my incredible expat family. 

My expat family is everything to me. They've been some of the most loving and supportive people I've ever met in my life. Honestly, I'd be a little lost without them. I am so excited for you to meet all of these people that I love so very much!

BUT MOSTLY, GET READY TO GET SHOWERED WITH LOVES AND KISSES AND HAPPINESS BECAUSE I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE YOU!

I haven't been able to give you a hug or a kiss in six months! I'm so excited you're going to be here! You're going to love Beijing, because it really isn't all that bad. Actually, it's pretty amazing. I am so excited for our first big adventure together and I can't wait for you to get off of that plane! Seven days!!!!

Love Always,

Jessie

Three Major Ups and Downs of Expat Life.

I kick myself a little for not moving out of the U.S. sooner. Beijing has brought out something in me that I forgot I had in the states. The expatriate life is full of adventure, hilarity, and lots of shenanigans. Ups and down are becoming incredibly common and here are the biggest three of mine:

Up: Eating something new that tastes absolutely delicious.
I talk a lot about food in my blog posts because food is my favorite. Chinese food is constantly opening my eyes to a world of new and delicious things, flavors I didn't know existed, and food combinations I would of never dreamed up.

Down: Eating something new that tastes absolutely horrible. 
Naturally, with all the good there is some bad. A few times I've put something in my mouth that I immediately spit back out. Namely stinky tofu, fish flavored tofu, this weird duck dish, and some random milk candy one of my student's gave me. Normally it goes in my mouth and I immediately dive for the nearest trash can.

Up: All the wild nights out on the town.
Wild nights that end up in Tuk Tuks, with bottle service at a super club, eating Jian Bing on the streets, yelling at other expats on the streets, eating street crabs, being lifted on to stages to dance, randomly walking into the McDonald's at 4 am, getting home at 6 am, waking up and regretting my decisions.... I've had so much fun exploring Beijing nightlife. This place is crazy, and having other foreign friends around makes it that much crazier.

Down: Feeling your pants get a little tighter because of all the wild nights out on the town.
Ooooooops.

Up: All the amazing friends you make.
It's like we all live in different dorms at Sanlitun University.

Down: Constant going away parties for all the amazing friends you've made. 
This is easily the hardest of downs. This lifestyle is very fluid. New people are always coming in, old people are always going out. It feels like very few people stay around for longer than a year or two. You create incredible friendships with people that you know are going to have to go back home home (not our Beijing home) soon and you won't see as often. This part of expat existence reallllllly sucks.

There are obviously plenty more, but I feel like these are three of my biggest ups and downs in Beijing!

My Long Distance Relationship Post.

I live in China. Hubs lives in California. We're both following our dreams. We both have our own lives. We talk every day, for hours, even when one of us should probably be sleeping. People still don't get us. They really don't need to, but here are some really stupid questions/comments with really accurate reactions that we've both got or heard:

"Do you guys still love each other?/ Are you still in love?"

You're messing with me right? Never ask that question again.

"Are you getting a divorce?"

NO. No no no no no no nononononono. Not even a discussion topic. That's never even come up.

"Do you trust your husband/ Does your husband trust you?"

Do you think the guy who convinced me to change my last name would've let me move to China if he didn't trust me?

"I was in a long distance relationship once. I know it doesn't work out." 

I don't even know how to address this one. Thanks for your optimism? Question Mark?

"How do you stay intimate over that kind of distance??"

It's 2014. Figure it out yourself. 

"What's the name of his girlfriend back home?"

Haven't heard that one before. You so witty.

LOL... not.

"When are you going to move home?"

Whenever I feel like it. 

"I couldn't stand spending that much time away from my husband/boyfriend/significant other."

Okay, I do get this..... a little. And yeah, Tucker and I really do miss one another more than I thought possible, but that hasn't stopped either of us from having the time of our lives, making new friends, and participating in many shenanigans with these new friends. 

Basically what I'm trying to say is:

Our lifestyle is not the easiest to comprehend, but it's working for us and we are happy.... and in the end that is all that truly matters anyway.:). High five to all of you Long Distance Relationships out there! We got this!