June 12-13, 2013

17 days left here. 

 6-12-2013

Holy Hangover. Holy rain. All night.

"You're the worst termite EVER!"- we have termites flying around every where and they are starting to annoy some of us.

6-13-2013

Hey Baby! 

We got a day off from digging yesterday. That storm knocked out every thing and flooded our trenches with six-eight inches of water. So basically from 10:45-6:25 I cataloged. I even cataloged an hour beyond what I was supposed to. I also got to watch/ kind of help articulate a baby skeleton we found! So excited! I was trying to identify bones. I miss Physical Anthropology. I want to get home and revamp my bone knowledge.

I just farted so loud everyone heard. FML.

Later that night.

Oh my god- I can't wait to go to Europe with you! Our first adventure Yayyyyy! I'm going to start planning in this note book. It lets me escape a little....

18 Days to Go and June 11, 2013.

I leave in 18 days. One visa down, one to go. Hours of packing. Making the decision on what stays, what is a necessity, what I can live without. This is crazy. Every day that I get closer to leaving I have minor meltdowns. My emotions are a roller coaster; the elation of finally following my dreams and living in another country for a while. Then the absolute devastation of realizing I'm only going to see my husband for a month in the next 14 months. You never really realize how important all of the little things are until you're about to move across the world without the person you spend 98% of your day with. And there are a lot of little things:

Driving to work together. Every day.
Fighting about current events.
Watching Pitch Perfect at least twice a week.
Making dinner and critiquing everything like we are Food Network judges.
Starbucks and Gloria.
Road Nuggs. 
Fights about video games.
Video Games in general.
Running around my loop.
Drinking by the pool.f
Mozz, Goo and Bozz.

I could go on and on. I can't say it enough: this is crazy.

06-11-13

My toe still hurts. A lot. I was so glad to talk to you last night. Everyone could tell how happy I was after. 

I wrote down quotes:

"How much do I owe you for the charger.... oh wait, you're not Doc"- Brent to Ollie

"In Bali, if you're a Boy/Girl twin they have to get married."- Brent
"Nooooo. I've been to Bali twice and never heard that."- Ollie
"You've never talked about twins, have you?"-Brent

"Now, can any one identify the bones on their plate??"- Adam at dinner. We are eating chicken.

"And then I realized, 'oh holy shit. I just paid $3,400 to live third world for two months'."- Joff

11:30 PM
Writing during a storm, so the writing is barely legible.

I'm writing you by the light off of my phone. Definitely the loudest rainstorm of my life. I am possibly going through a small typhoon. Wish I was joking, but I'm not. The rain is actually deafening outside. It's like being on Haunted Mansion- complete with flashes of lightening through our curtains. I wish we could cuddle baby. I look at so many pictures of you on my phone. I miss you, Turtles.

<3 Coop Cooper 

Baseball Life. Baseball Wife.

TODAY WAS EPIC.

My husband is a baseball coach for a high school team. Today was the first game of playoffs. Now, I get really, really, stressed out during Baseball games. I know I shouldn't because A. It's a High School Baseball game and B. I don't even have a kid on the team, but I do. Usually when I watch games I stay until the third inning and then I leave. I go sit in the car and calm down. I'll come back out around the seventh and watch the end of the game.

This game was unlike any other game.

The head coach is leaving this year, sadly. He is the coach who gave Tucker the position. He is the coach who has been at the school, coaching Baseball, for nearly 30 years. This man is wonderful. And we thought this was going to be his last game.

But it wasn't.

I've only been watching baseball since 2009. Before that I hadn't even watched an entire inning of Baseball. Tucker has played his entire life, but I was raised in a track and field family. Baseball was a foreign entity to me until I met Tuck. I had to act excited about the sport because Tuck played, his dad played (at Stanford) and his dad was a coach of a college world series winning team. 

When we started dating I feigned excitement, but deep down I was overwhelmed. I didn't get the sport. I didn't understand the nuances of nine innings with no time limit. I didn't get it. You want to know a little secret? I've been watching four years and I still don't understand some things. Yet, instead of dreading games like I did four years ago, I get excited. Probably too excited. I can't even sit through an entire game without getting anxious.

Anyways, this game was unreal. When I left we were up by a run. I went to a store, got some food, and then sat in my car and read a little. I decided to head back about an hour later only to realize that it was the bottom of the seventh (high school games only go seven innings) and we were the away team. When I walked up the bases were loaded. And then I realized we had no outs. My stomach sank; this entire season had been a beautiful roller coaster and it was about to end on a walk-off to a team we'd beat 14-1 the week before. I was texting updates to a player that graduated last year. I am not going to lie, I was convinced this was the end and I was so sad.  

I was standing on the fence in left field. I couldn't see the kid at bat, but I could hear him. Our pitcher threw the ball and I heard the tell-tale "PING!". 

My heart sank. 

Then I realized our short stop had caught the ball in flight. That's an out! Wait, the short just touched second!!! THAT'S an out too! Oh my god what is happening?! 

THROW IT TO FIRST!!!!  OH MY GOD, THROW IT TO FIRST! 

AND THAT IS A THIRD OUT! WE JUST WON ON A TRIPLE PLAY! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?!?!

The moment was truly surreal. I've never been so proud of my husband as a coach or his players as a team. 

Updated: NOW YOU CAN WATCH IT ALL GO DOWN!!!!

The Coffee Cup Cockroach Incident. Dated: June 9-10, 2013.

This letter to husband pretty much describes my fear of cockroaches in an action. I can distinctly remember throwing the cup at the wall and seeing that damn bug SURVIVE. THE THING SOME HOW LATCHED ON TO THE WALL LIKE SOME SH*T FROM THE MATRIX AND JUST SCUTTLED UP THE WALL AFTER THE CUP EXPLODED.

It was actually a moment straight from my nightmares.


June 9th, 2013
Early Morning- 5:50 AM

Morning started off as so: wake up. Go get my usually coffee. Pick up coffee cup. Roach so big in the bottom of the cup that I proceed to throw cup into a wall, where cup shatters. Welcome to the Philippines!

10:30 PM

Long day again. Will write you so much more in the morning. I miss you. Love you.

June 10th, 2013
Early 5:40 AM

Even though I've complained in my letters, I think I have a ton of pride in my work here. I try to work longer than I should. I try to keep complaints to a minimum. I take a few breaks. This is school is such an awesome cultural experience, but it is the most difficult thing I have ever done. 

At Hapao (our next site) we don't have running water. We probably won't have electricity. I don't even think we have doors. This whole thing is going to teach me more about myself and how strong I am as an individual. In fact, being here has made me much more motivated. I think in the last 10 days I have matured more than I have in the last five years. 

Don't take this as I'm doing fine; I am a little miserable. This is hands down the hardest thing I've ever done. I am perma-exhausted and I miss you more and more every day. I am dreading leaving on the 19th a little. Not talking to you for ten days is going to be the most difficult thing yet. 

I just found out there is an opportunity to present research papers in Cambodia in January. This is something I think I really want to do. I love you and I miss you Sunshine. You're amazing and I can't wait to be back in your arms.

<3 Cooper

Life Just Got Crazier And June 08, 2013.

As if life couldn't throw me any more curve balls. I got the news late last night that my little sister is expecting the next generation of my family. Finding words to describe how I feel about being an official Auntie ( I am an unofficial Auntie to four little ones) is difficult. Excited. Elated. Overwhelmed. Selfish. Selfish because I am glad my parents will finally get off my back about giving them a grand baby. I am, most of all, happy for my little sis. She is going to be a great parent and I am really looking forward to spoiling the sh*t out of that kid.

Moving on and a small disclaimer before you read this post: I DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE ALL GIRLS NAMED BRANDY ARE DESTINED TO BE STRIPPERS AND I KNOW A COUPLE BRANDYS WHO ARE NOT STRIPPERS AT ALL.

6-8-13
5:50 AM

I needed to sleep so bad. Right before I crashed there was a Roachpocalypse and one of the boys killed at least five in our bathroom. Everything is obviously more fun in the Philippines.

Yesterday, in trench, we started (we as in my trench mates, Doc and a guy named Adam) talking about girls named Brandy and how they are all destined to be strippers. Doc chimes in and says that one of the boy's girlfriend's name is Brandy, so we all take back what we just said. Later in the night the boy and I are talking and "No Phone" by Cake comes on his IPod. I told him that "No Phone" would most definitely would have been my stripper song, to which he responds, "My girlfriend just quit her job as a stripper."

I DIED.

<3 Cooper



Naturally you can tell my absolute hatred and terror of cockroaches in each of my letters to Tucker. Later, as you will see, I become less and less afraid of roaches. I even smashed one with my OWN shoe in Batad. Monumental moment in my life and I still refer to it when I need to demonstrate my abilities to overcome obstacles.

Chaos and The Entry from June 7th, 2013.

Life has officially reached epic chaos status. It happened. 43 days to go and it happened. I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 43 days, but I have a good feeling it is going to be full of wine, packing,, calling Mom, calling Grandma, sending ungodly amounts of Facebook messages to my best friend (who is currently in Chile, being a bad ass bitch), annnnnnnnd crying. Probably a lot of crying.

I dropped my visa application off today and things got a whole lot more real in a matter of seconds. About as real as they can get now. Not seeing Tucker for six months is a long time. An incredibly long time.  Tonight's journal entry is especially mushy.

6-7-13
10:30 PM

I am an inch away from a mental collapse. Been trying to hold it together, but today has been rough of me. I am sad, local kids saw me naked. Today has just been rough. I am mentally drained- one of the boy's birthday is tomorrow so we get to party.

Most of my nights are spent thinking about how much I miss you. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, I am going to cuddle with you SO MUCH when I get home. I'm sorry I complain about it when I am home.  Cuddling is what I miss the most. Touching you, laying in bed and all of our laughter over the silliest stuff. I miss you so much. You're so amazing. Our life is so amazing. I must have done something right. I got to bed every night dreaming of you. I love you so much Tucker.

Love- Cooper

I Hit The Wall Of Absolute Sadness. Dated: June 06, 2013

I was reading back through more of my journal entries from last Summer. I honestly got really teary reading a few of the final entries. The ones I wrote to Tucker on my last few days in the Philippines. I wrote about how the place changed my life. The Philippines changed me fundamentally, as a human, for the better. I can only hope that one day everyone can have an adventure that changes the way they see the world, just like I did and I plan to keep doing.

Our world is a beautiful place and it would be a damn shame to not see every inch of it as possible.

06-06-2013
Late Night (Like 11:15 PM)

Hey Baby,

Sorry I keep telling you I'll get to talk to you late at night. Life gets too busy and it is actually impossible to get back to SITMO. SO i can just write to you instead. 

I hit the wall of absolute sadness today. Part of me is not wanting to FaceTime you any more because it makes me so sad. I've never missed you so much. The best part of thinking about coming home is knowing that on my birthday, that very next day, I get to wake up in bed in your arms.

I Want to Sleep For Days- Dated: June 06, 2013

Life in the Philippines, particularly Ifugao, is night and day different than life in San Jose, California. This post highlights just a few of the differences I began to recognize at the beginning of my stay. Luckily I was able to adapt quickly. Kiangan gave me a renewed sense of my surroundings. The town taught me so much about myself and the things in my life I take for granted.




June 06, 2013 
Early Morning 5:20 AM
Pot Dimensions: 
Diameter- 14 Cm
Height- 6 Cm

I wish I could write you at night, but there is always too much happening by 9. I want to sleep for days. The beginning of work yesterday was awesome! I dug up a (possible) Placenta Pot! A FULL ONE TOO #Beginner'sluck. The interesting this is that we don't know why the pot is where it is- we can't figure it out why it is alone or why it is placed where it is. Usually when the team finds a pot like that it denotes a baby burial. Beneath the top pot is usually another with a baby skeleton. They've found two at our site- one last year and one early yesterday during test probes! But beneath my pot was just more rock. Pretty amazing that something 35 Cm below ground surface could still be intact. 

Right now my trench is roughly 50 Cm below ground, so juts over a foot deep. We are still in the Agricultural layer. The Agro layer is basically whatever is either covered or dug up during the rice cultivation. So after Agro layer (which my trench is still in) we hit Cultural layer. Which will hopefully be what I shall name "Archaeological Find Pay-dirt". I really hope we dig up this village. 

After two days I already I have a huge attachment to our site. Yesterday I got to play with my first Plumbob. Great name, right? We mapped, which at first I f***ing hated, but even by the third day I am starting to fall in love with this routine. Wake up, get coffee, write you, plug my phone in, change, eat, jeepney, write in journal, dig, map, lunch, dig or screen, clean up, jeepney, home, either shower or potwash or accession, SITMO to text you, more post-field work, dinner, a beer, sleep. Wake up at 5 AM- repeat.

So far every one is pretty cool. I don't think we guessed field work was going to be so hard. Field school isn't easy, especially in the Philippines where bugs are f***ing massive and scary and we have no running water. Going abroad is never easy, but Kiangan is its own brand of difficult. Life here is very different. Slow. I already can't wait to take a hot shower or use a toilet that has a proper seat. 

But the plus sides of this place: The people are beautiful and hospitable. They love to wave at us. It makes me happy. I already love it here, even with all the cockroaches. I will be interested to see how the group dynamic progresses.

Last night there were kids practicing a dance out in the courtyard of our hostel. June 17th is Ifugao day and the ten surrounding provinces meet and have a parade and dance competition with their regional dances. I was amazing watching the kids, but I made them nervous. I could tell. While I watched I became jealous and sad; I was envious of having a culture with traditional dancing. I realized how vanilla my upbringing was and yearned for a rich cultural history like the people of Kiangan. In that moment, I realized that the dancing kids and I were probably thinking the same things- except on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

Out to the field, I miss you to the moon-
<3 Cooper

Mini Post

I am getting closer and closer to leaving. The date is tentatively June 27th because I need to be back in Manila by the 29th for our first day of Field School. Between now (May 6th) and then I have a plateful of garbage to finish. Visa applications, plane tickets, logistics, packing, cleaning, work, life. I keep going in waves. One minute I am jumping for joy that I will be moving across the world to follow my dreams, the next minute I start to realize all of the ducks I have to force into a line before I get there.

Tucker and I have been talking quite a bit about my big move. Breaching subjects like why now? How long do you thing you're going to be gone? I don't know. I can be about as indecisive as they get, but when I finally make up my mind I am going to dive head first in to whatever I do. I'll write more later about what I fully realized about my "big move". It still seems a little too surreal.

Bugs, Sore Body, Mysteries. Dated June 5th, 2013.

I am pretty sure that I warned you previously that this blog was going to be a "no strings attached" kind of look into what my life was like last summer. That, obviously, hasn't changed. I will not be editing out specific happenings of my days in the field*. Editing my journal for a blog would take away the authenticity of my experience. Being a girl who has known nothing other than Western comforts, I believe that my words paint an accurate picture of what this culture shock was.  I preemptively apologize if it makes you squeamish, but you're just going to have to deal. Such is life.

*Disclaimer: I will edit coarse language with ****. My Grandma may read this. She doesn't need to see that s**t.

06/05/13
-Early Morning- 6 Am

There are spots on my body that I didn't even know existed that are sore. I'm really excited about getting into the field today. My trench is so fascinating. Like a big mystery my group needs to solve. I guess there is an option to write a paper to present in Cambodia in January- I am really thinking about it. Especially because I could probably use that writing to apply to Grad School. 

The only thing I have issues with is the washing of artifacts. OH MY GOD, SO TEDIOUS. It sucks because it's like you take a shower (you get filthy in the field) and then you get to deal with more f***ing dirt that is all over the artifacts. So you get filthy all over again.

In other news: THE BUGS HERE ARE F***ING MASSIVE. OH.MY.GOD.  So, yesterday I rode on top of the Jeepney- they take us to the site every day and you can ride inside or on top. So, first day into the field, where do you thinkg Jessie Pope rode? ON THE ROOF LIKE AN IDIOT. I can't lie, the views were beautiful. but that's where the fun stops. The catch of riding on the roof is you get to dodge tree branches. Sounds easy, right? Just move the trees out of the way as you go. 

WRONG. Guess what is in those trees? F***ing red ants, bees, millipedes,  AND SPIDERS BIGGER THAN MY HAND. I sh** you not, Joff (a guy with us) warned me about spiders. A second later I turn around and BAM. A spider with a torso as long as a tampon and legs longer than my fingers. Sweet mother of god. It was traumatizing. In that moment I decided that it was perfectly acceptable to be terrified of spiders. And in that moment I was. 

An example of a giant ass spider. She was on our way to the field, roughly 3 ft from our heads. It took a few weeks to notice her.

Then, of course, the beetles. There was a Rhino Beetle on our door two nights ago  and I didn't even scream over it. I think I'm starting to becoming jaded. Alright, time for breakfast and more dirt. Just remember, everything is more fun in the Philippines.

If I could give you an example of how big this guy was: make a hang loose sign with your thumb and pinky. Measure the distance between the two. Yep, that was the length of this guy's antennae. 

<3
Coop

P.s. I finally feel a poop coming on. 
Late at night:
Big, Big P.s.- I will almost always write about my day the next day. Archaeology is exhausting, but at least my ass will be nice :).

Oh, and when I put something in bold: I marked what time of the day I was writing Tucker. It was usually whenever I could squeeze time in.

Being abroad without the person you love is a series of  challenges. The biggest challenge? Communication. And not in the "we just don't talk any more" kind of way. It is more in the "I don't know if there is going to be power or internet access where we are going" kind of way.

While I was in South America communicating was relatively easy. The hotel we stayed in had internet in the main restaurant and although the area was rural a few places had some sort of internet access. Communication in Ifugao is another story. On a daily basis we would lose power for hours at a time. When we lost power we would scramble around to make sure any electronics were unplugged; if they turned the power back on while something was plugged in, it would blow up. This happened twice. Not a good look. At one point a storm came in and knocked out power for almost two days. Or maybe three. I can't even remember. Those days were such a blur.

Facetime dates with my main piece. 

My First Dig Day! Dated June 04, 2013.

This week has been nuts. There is so much to get done and all I care about at this point is just sitting down and reading everything that I haven't finished on my Kindle. Which is exactly what I am doing instead of being productive. Reading is productive though... right?

There are so many ducks to get in a row before I leave. Things like sending all my stuff 6500 miles away in June, packing the rest of my stuff into a bag and taking that stuff out into the middle of no where Philippines for a month. Then moving all of that stuff I drug to the Philippines to China after I get done in the field. Not exactly the greatest, but I don't feel like flying to Asia, flying home and then flying back to Asia two weeks later. No thank you.

The next three months are going to be insane. From moving myself to the dig to Tucker to visas it is all going to be nuts. Craziness aside, I am excited. This feels right. I am not nervous at all, nor have I even remotely regretted my decision. This feels like a decision I should of committed to years ago. Like a step in the right direction.

06/04/13
Lunch: 
  I am out on my first dig! I am really enjoying it so far. The site is beautiful. The terraces are breath taking. I was put on the team that may be excavating the reported graves for Old Kiyyangan Village. I almost shit my pants when they told me. I have already found lots of pot sherds and some type of bone! I am so excited!!!

Day 1 went well. Minus my back. It's going to need to be looked at whenever I get home. It is like 11pm now. Today has been exhaustive, but digging was amazing. I found so many cool things. I am so happy I am here. For breakfast we had these f***ing delicious friend bananas and salty fish. 

The only thing I don't know about it cleaning and pot sherds. I am so tired I have to bullet point the rest of the day:

• I haven't pooped in almost 3 days.
• My beloved burial site was washed away by the river apparently :(.
• There are tape worms in our trench.

Love you,

Cooper

In my defense: pooping in the field was a struggle. I just embrace it now for what it was. We did not have running water in our bathrooms. Nor were there toilet seats on any of the toilets in the girl's dorm bathroom. I mastered the art of the squat that summer and I am still proud of it. 

You're 24??! You're MARRIED? YOU'RE MOVING ABROAD!?! (Part 1 of many, I am sure).

A week ago, at this exact moment, I finished up my interview with the company I wanted to teach for in China. I was trying to figure out how to get to Tucker, who was across town, and the struggle was real. His team  having their annual team dinner at what looked like a delicious Greek restaurant. I am not big on cabs, too expensive, so I just opted to stay in our hotel until they returned.

When Tucker came back to our little hotel nest he was definitely a little tipsy. And Tipsy Tucker is the best Tucker. A waiter had confused "iced tea" for "long island iced tea" and Tucker was handed the mistakes. Yes, plural. At the game the following morning the parents fawned over the persistence of Hubs at the restaurant. Apparently Tucker was going to stop at nothing to make sure I got to experience the fabulous Greek food like he did. In reality, he knows how hangry I get and did not want to feel the wrath of hangry Jessie come down upon him that night.

He is seriously the absolute greatest.

Four hours later, from this moment a week ago,  I was offered a position teaching in China. And I took it. Immediately. Lord knows that if I gave myself more than thirty-seconds to think about it I would've rejected the offer. I mean, I took it immediately after I realized the email was sent directly to my junk mail folder. Gmail freaked out and didn't recognize the address of the HR woman that sent me the position. This caused minor confusions when the recruiter congratulated me in an obligatory 'welcome aboard' email that was answered with minor confusion (and a lot of happiness) on my end.

My week since accepting the position has been full of, "Oh my gosh! China is SO far!" and "That's amazing! Do it while you're young!" and a little, " I could never do that" which I call total B.S. on. You can do it, you just don't want to do it.

Among all of these questions, and my personal favorite, "What about your husband?" What about my husband? He has a name, you know. It's Tucker. What about Tucker?

Well guess what?
We will still be married.
We will be completely in love.
We will obsess over each other.
We will talk at every chance, just like we do right now.
We will tell each other the mundane play-by-play of our day.
We will grow in our marriage. Probably more than we ever have previously.
We will always have each other to lean on when times get rough.
We will still be together.
I will just live really, really far away for roughly fourteen months.

We chose to share our lives at a young age and we get that. We got that a long time ago... Like nearly three years ago when we tied the knot. What we didn't choose to do was to quit our dreams simply because we got married. Newsflash: we don't live in 1950 any more. You can still be married and live your life. Even if that life takes you in a direction you never thought you'd go, you can still be married!  No longer is it about being adhering to the societal norm of "marriage" to Tucker or I. To us, it is about being happy. It's about looking at our life 60 years from now and being proud of our accomplishments both as a couple and as individuals. We are still individual people. We still have individual aspirations. We both still have places we want to go and people we want to see. None of that disappeared when we paid $66 to the state of Oregon and signed a piece of paper that legally (and symbolically) glued our lives together. None of it.

We get one shot at this life thing. We plan on making our shot the best it can be. Even if that shot means having to spend time a world away to follow our dreams.

Racing around

I tried to go to sleep tonight, that was an epic failure. Since I made the decision to move a million thoughts are constantly racing through my mind. What is it going to be like abroad? Am I going to get fat? Should I find another gym membership? Am I going to completely regret leaving Tucker behind for almost 14 months?

Seriously, this barely skims the tip of the iceberg. I've already created a beautiful spreadsheet to figure out my finances. I've already started packing and throwing stuff I didn't need out. I don't even leave for another 68 days. Seems like a long time, but I know how quickly the time flies. Particularly when something you simultaneously can't wait for/ are absolutely terrified of is going to happen. The trigger has been pulled.

Before I leave I have a bunch of stuff I want to do. Granted, I am only going to be gone for about 14 months, but I still have stuff that I find really important. Stuff like watching all the Pixar movies in chronological order or watching the sunset with hubs on the beach. So many things....

"This is going to be much more difficult than I ever imagined" Dated:June 2nd, 2013

So many things happening in the Laurence household of late. Life is about to get insane. Pardon me for the radio silence the last few days: Tucker's baseball team played in a tournament in San Diego for a week and I went with. I left the journal at home just to spend some time with Tucker.

The first line of the post that I am sharing today is fitting for how life is going to get in the next year. I accepted a position teaching English in China for next year. This means I leave. I leave for a long ass time. I'll take off in June, go back to the field in the Philippines this July, and start work in Beijing on August first.

All the things. All the feels. Everything. So many things happening in my mind as of late.

Since as long as I could remember I have wanted to live abroad for an extended amount of time. How long that time may be? Who knows, but I knew I always wanted to do it. That I needed to do it. Living abroad is important to me; thrusting headlong into another culture for an extended amount of time is a life lesson that I think everyone should learn. There is a certain unknown about it that makes my heart beat just a little faster. My mind wander a little bit deeper into recesses unknown. I could hate it, but at this point I am willing to take that risk because it is a risk I need to take. And it means so many things to me.

Sunshine,
This is going to be much more difficult than I ever imagined! Thank you for letting me do this! 42 days baby! 

Today was really low key. Sara and I sat in the restaurant and drank beer and got charged far less than we were supposed to. Oops. Oh well. Men have been yelling, "you're beautiful!" at us from cars.  It's hysterical. I miss you so much! We're Ifugao bound in 45 minutes. I don't know what to expect.

Early morning (like 5 am) June 2nd (most of this was done in the semi-darkness):
We made it to Kiangan and I've already had the "FUCK, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" moment. 

To start- our bus ride was exactly like the buses in South America with a little worse of a bus. We got off at our hostel around 3 am. And then it began:
THERE ARE FUCKING GIANT ASS ROACHES ERRYWHERE. One I spotted was, oh, you know, 12FT ABOVE MY FUCKING HEAD ON THE FUCKING ROOF JUST CHILLING WITH A GECKO. NEXT, we got to our room and the girl's dorm had two bunks- luckily one of the other girls from the U.S. (Maddie) bought Sara and I mosquito nets. Since there were only two bunks, Sara and I moved to the boy's dorm so we could make mosquito net forts. I actually feel really safe; ain't no cockroaches cuddling with me. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

This is the mosquito net fort that I lived in.

So- my other two cockroach moments: When we first get to the girl's dorm I set my shit down for 2 second and a roach fucking magically appeared. Luckily a boy smashed it fast.

The sun is rising right and our door blew open in the night. So beyond the gorgeous greens I can see hues of pink and blue. They are so soft. I didn't know colors like that existed. I'm the only one awake. Can't sleep, sweaty, smelly, going through photos of you on my phone. 

Not exactly a sunrise from Kiangan, but you get the point. Philippines sunrises are gorgeous.

The ladies here are so nice- they made us these delicious rolls and served the with easy cheese. So unhealthy and delicious. I'm really excited for what the next month has in store (I forgot to tell you the first thing I saw was a HUGE Praying Mantis), especially because this place reminds me of San Pedro!

I've heard some animal noises I hope to never hear again. EVER!

<3 Always,
Cooper


I have no idea where life is supposed to take me, but this adventure is about to be one of the greatest.

"Manila: Day 1" Dated 06-01-13

Before I actually get to what the letter to Tuck Tuck said, I have to let you know that I was emailed explicit directions to walk off of the plane in Manila waving a paper with my last initial on it. My last initial is L, I didn't read the email until I'd already arrived in Manila and I hastily drew an L on the second page of the Turtle journal. So now, almost a year later, the L is faded and got wet (the Philippines are wet). I wrote the journal entry over the big, blue, highlighter L.

Hey Sunshine!

 Sorry about the big L. The directions left for me at the airport explicitly stated that I was supposed to be waiting with the first letter of my last name. 

Today was surreal. First- Manila is humid as f*ck. Even the girl from Florida is losing it in this humidity. I constantly have frizzy hair. Other than that- this is such a beautiful place! The atmosphere, the landscape, and most importantly the people.  Everyone said hello to us this morning. People, (old women even!) tried to give up their seat on the bus for us!

Storm: Today I experienced my first Manila rain storm. It was beautiful to say the least. We were riding in a Jeepney, which is basically a campus taxi that is a jeep with a long bed and no windows. It was POURING. I've never heard such loud rain in my life. It flooded in three minutes and it was an insta-traffic jam. The thunder was SO loud too.  (I was completely wrong about Jeepneys, I found this out later when we rode Jeepneys everywhere in Ifugao.) 

At this point I fell asleep mid-letter. I just spent nearly 24 hours traveling across the world. Give me a break. 

"Sunshine" Dated: 5-30-13

I wrote my husband a bunch of letters while I was in the Philippines last summer. I will continue the tradition this summer after I jet off again. Writing was my equivalent to talking to him since I stay in an area without consistent internet access and I didn't really have another choice.

 I truly do love to write, even though my grammar may not be the greatest. I also abuse commas with little shame. Nothing that I am blind to, but anyway, I wrote my husband these letters in a faded turtle journal that traveled around Luzon with me. Since they are what I lived through while I was abroad, I felt like I needed to share them. Mostly because I want a double record of what I lived through, but mainly because I want to share the joy of being abroad with the world and let others read the types of experiences you probably with have in the middle of no where Philippines.

So here goes:

Post #1
Date: 5-30-2013

Sunshine,

I didn't tell you, but a week before I left I bought a journal just to write you letters and tell you about my time away, even when I can't physically tell you. Let me give you a forewarning-
-This will be all my intimate feelings, thoughts and experiences while I am away.

To start off, I am on my flight to Beijing right now. I am watching Wreck It Ralph and I am crying. It all just hit me at once when I started the movie. You are actually my entire life. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but whatever it was, it was the best decision I ever made in my life. You are the absolute most incredible human beint I have ever met. I love yo uto the moon, Turtles. This is going to be a hard month and half for us, but I have so much faith and absolute love in our relationship that I know we are going to be fine. You make me so happy and I am so so so so so glad you came to Cassie's that one September.

Love Always,
Coop

Ps- I can't understand anyone on this plane. FML.

So this was post #1, of many. Obviously if you are reading this you know exactly what you are getting yourself in to. A lot of this is mushy, a lot of this will be about my life in Kiangan. Prepare yourself.

Exhaustion, Excitement.... Mainly the former, some of the latter.

This week has been rough on me. I am just coming off of Spring Break (without going away for the first time in 4 years) and I am not readjusting well.

For starters: I leave again soon... Really soon.  And I probably (hopefully **fingers crossed**) will be going away for a long time. A really long time. How long? To be determined. How far? Also, to be determined. Keep me in your thoughts, preferably along side the positive images and rainbows and kittens.

My brain turned off on Tuesday afternoon and I have not been able to keep it on long enough to function like a proper human being. To make matters even worse, it seems like everyone around me hasn't readjusted either. Granted, I work in education (which I truly love, I might add) and granted that I am probably taking everything too personally at the moment, I still would like the last sixish weeks of school to be relatively peaceful. I also know this is not going to happen BECAUSE I work in education and six weeks of peace is laughable by teacher standards.*

*(note: if you are a teacher who has experienced six weeks of peace during the term of your employment, please promptly contact me so that I may quit my current place of employment and throw my skills at yours. Quite literally. If you have six weeks of peace in a class room I am going to assume A. You're delusional , B. You've become best friends with a Unicorn and C. You live in Colorado, because, you know, that's legal there)

For seconders: I leave for San Diego on Saturday after noon and that is also adding to the zero level of functions going on in my noggins right now. Pretty sure my brain has already tricked me into smelling ocean breezes and sipping a sex on the beach.... maybe on the beach.

Saturday.... Just hurry up.

Please?

Success

I didn't exactly grow up living like Paris Hilton, which I am beyond ok with. My family provided more than enough to get by, with set backs of course. When I was 8 or 9 (I can't honestly give you an exact age because I I tried to block it out) much of our house was destroyed by a horrible flood. I know we lost a lot, but I was mainly concerned that my sand box had been washed away in the destruction. Granted we probably had three feet of water rushing through our living at one point, but I was pissed because my favorite plastic shark got washed away.

This huge life event was easily the catalyst in my urge to become some person who was wealthy and powerful. Probably because I felt so small and helpless at the time. All I wanted was to live in a big house. I wanted that damn Bentley. The prestige. All of those things. Graduating high school I was so determined to get out and become some high power lawyer who raked in millions. That's all I wanted. I didn't care about anything else, just that cash money or how I could grab as many material things as I could lay my hands on....

Now, here I am, nearly 25 (when the hell did that happen??) and working in a school district as a Teacher's Assistant. Not exactly what I imagined, but I'll take it all the same. My job is actually pretty great, tiny complaints aside. The shape of what I deemed as success has definitely (and thankfully) changed and is ever-evolving as I get older. As I get to experience the world in different ways I realize what I gauge as "success" is hardly a shell of what I started out with:

No longer is my "success" measured by how big a house I will have or how nice of car I will buy, but by how many stamps I can get into my passport? How many lives can I touch? How many lives can touch mine? How many adventures can these two legs take me on? What kinds of foods can I experience? What kind of cultural mishaps can I finagle my way out of? I may not have been able to buy a car by 25, nor will I probably be able to buy a house by 30, but I have got to dig up beads in the Philippines that were still just as bright and beautiful as the day they were buried. I almost died in Argentina during a freak rain storm that led us to traversing a mountainside and walking through knee-deep mud for nearly 5 (or more, who knows) hours. I've protested in Washington D.C. I got a stamp from Ireland in my passport dated March 17th. I got to watch a ritual pig slaughter. I've climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I rambled around the catacombs of the Smithsonian and accidently wandered into classrooms during lessons. I almost died on a flight out of Santiago, Chile. I've explored ruins of the Great Wall of China with my best friend. I've gotten lost in Nice, France far too late at night. I've gawked a Sun Fish in the Milan, Italy Aquarium. I've swam in waters beneath mile long waterfalls that simultaneously touched 2 countries at once (Argentina and Brasil). I've walked across the Golden Gate Bridge. I've thrown a surprise party for my best friend's birthday on a hostel rooftop in Montevideo, Uruguay. I've taken shots of tequila in Mexico. I've met some of the most incredible people on this great Earth.

My memories are as priceless as they are endless and I wouldn't trade or change them for the any amount of money (well, maybe some more plane tickets) or material wealth.  Success is such a fickle, fleeting thing. Right now my six month image of success involves climbing up and down rice terraces, digging in the dirt and impacting the history of South East Asia. And that image of success makes my heart beat just a little bit faster and my smile just a little bit wider.

We live in such a beautiful world and it would be a damn shame and waste to miss out on any of it because of some outdated indoctrination that I need a two story house with two kids, a Labrador and a white picket fence. I can work for all of those things when I am ready and willing. For now though, I am going to have fun experiencing this planet we call home.

Parents visit and I regret drinking, per usual

My beautiful family

Tried to get dad to take a photo, he opted for a selfie.

My family is in town for the weekend! Yay! Considering I haven't visited them since November seeing them has been wonderful. Even more exciting: my mom had gastric bypass surgery recently and she looks AMAZING!!

Mom and I

Last night Tucker and I splurged and took them to a San Jose Shark's Hockey game, needless to say, they were enthralled. Even more, they had a blast. I will let the photos speak for themselves at the end of my post. I also had far TOO MUCH fun and I am paying for it dearly today. Every time I drink I am happily reminded that this body is not built like a 20 year old any more. Every. Damn. Time

Mom and Pop being all cutesy on the way to the game. 

There are so many big things happening in my life this year!! This summer is about to be one of the craziest adventures yet and I can hardly wait! I will be leaving (hopefully) June 11th and returning in the middle of August. I am hoping Tucker can make a trip out East to meet up with me in August. We really want to visit Japan together and I am PRAYING it is going to happen! Fingers crossed!

Stay tuned for other BIG announcements about my next year. I am so excited for all the new things!!!!

At least he puts up with me :)

Life is about to get fucking nuts.

I am writing this post March 20th (and posting it whenever life becomes finalized), because this is the day my husband and I (emphasis on the duality of this) decided that I should go teach abroad. This endeavor has been one that has weighed upon my mind for years. Since my bestie from college moved to China, I have wanted to do the same, yet I never could get the guff to go off on such an adventure. Sure, a month or two in South America or the Philippines was easy, but a year away (or more) from my husband? In a foreign country? Across the fucking globe? Am I capable of that? Are we capable of that?

I guess we're going to find out.

This next year is about to be one of the biggest of my life. I am determined to move across the world and toss myself head long into the flames. One of my biggest dreams is about to come true and, once again, it is a bi-product of the unending pillar of support from my #1 fan and best friend. How did I get so lucky? To marry a man who has pushed me to go, to follow each one of my dreams to the fullest extent without looking back? I am truly a lucky woman to have found such a wonderful human.

I literally have a billion things running through my mind right now. I don't even....