Challenge Day 3+4: Basically just said F**K IT.

Yesterday one of the teachers that I work for brought us chocolate ganache cake, brie (my favorite cheese, and a variety of other delicious goodies.

That is when I had my epiphany "fuck it" moment. And then I ate whatever the fuck I wanted and it was delicious. Screw changing my eating habits. I am a human in 2014. Ima eat what I want, when I want, how I want. I just need to work it off. That seems to have helped me every point up until now, at least. Moderation is key. Always.

Something struck me as really profound yesterday. I work in special education and one of my student's birthday is on Monday of next week. So I swiped the student an extra piece of cake. As I went to give it to the student, they declined. Telling me that they were on a diet. When I inquired as to why a high school aged girl with needs wanted to go on a diet, she put her hands above her head, sucked in her stomach as far as she could and, with a huge grin on her face, told me, "Because I want to look like this."

Albeit, at first I laughed, simply because it was so ridiculous that I couldn't help myself. But after a moment I realized, oh my god...... and it hit me like a wall of bricks. Here is a student,  not deemed "typical" by our societal norms, creating an unhealthy and highly unrealistic image of what she thinks her body should look like. What kind of world have we created in which a "non-typical" student questions their body? I was disappointed in our societal norms and I think it was in this moment that I realized I wanted to portray positive body images to her, to myself, and to any other young girls I happen across. It is time to start accepting the beauty and differences in each of our bodies. It is time to spread love instead of shame. It was in this moment that I realized thinking I wouldn't be perfect unless I weighed 125lbs was utter nonsense. It was in this moment that all of those times I withheld from indulgences because I "didn't want to get fat" was ridiculous. It was in this moment that I realized that I need to love my body with all of its quirks: my chewed off nails, my scars from surgery, the chicken pock mark in the middle of my forehead, my 'Kangaroo pouch' and big ass hips, . I just need to love me for me.

Just one of those moments that I have all too frequently when one of my students teaches me instead of me teaching them.

Promoting body image love from here on out!! My goal in 2014!