Baseball Life. Baseball Wife.

TODAY WAS EPIC.

My husband is a baseball coach for a high school team. Today was the first game of playoffs. Now, I get really, really, stressed out during Baseball games. I know I shouldn't because A. It's a High School Baseball game and B. I don't even have a kid on the team, but I do. Usually when I watch games I stay until the third inning and then I leave. I go sit in the car and calm down. I'll come back out around the seventh and watch the end of the game.

This game was unlike any other game.

The head coach is leaving this year, sadly. He is the coach who gave Tucker the position. He is the coach who has been at the school, coaching Baseball, for nearly 30 years. This man is wonderful. And we thought this was going to be his last game.

But it wasn't.

I've only been watching baseball since 2009. Before that I hadn't even watched an entire inning of Baseball. Tucker has played his entire life, but I was raised in a track and field family. Baseball was a foreign entity to me until I met Tuck. I had to act excited about the sport because Tuck played, his dad played (at Stanford) and his dad was a coach of a college world series winning team. 

When we started dating I feigned excitement, but deep down I was overwhelmed. I didn't get the sport. I didn't understand the nuances of nine innings with no time limit. I didn't get it. You want to know a little secret? I've been watching four years and I still don't understand some things. Yet, instead of dreading games like I did four years ago, I get excited. Probably too excited. I can't even sit through an entire game without getting anxious.

Anyways, this game was unreal. When I left we were up by a run. I went to a store, got some food, and then sat in my car and read a little. I decided to head back about an hour later only to realize that it was the bottom of the seventh (high school games only go seven innings) and we were the away team. When I walked up the bases were loaded. And then I realized we had no outs. My stomach sank; this entire season had been a beautiful roller coaster and it was about to end on a walk-off to a team we'd beat 14-1 the week before. I was texting updates to a player that graduated last year. I am not going to lie, I was convinced this was the end and I was so sad.  

I was standing on the fence in left field. I couldn't see the kid at bat, but I could hear him. Our pitcher threw the ball and I heard the tell-tale "PING!". 

My heart sank. 

Then I realized our short stop had caught the ball in flight. That's an out! Wait, the short just touched second!!! THAT'S an out too! Oh my god what is happening?! 

THROW IT TO FIRST!!!!  OH MY GOD, THROW IT TO FIRST! 

AND THAT IS A THIRD OUT! WE JUST WON ON A TRIPLE PLAY! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?!?!

The moment was truly surreal. I've never been so proud of my husband as a coach or his players as a team. 

Updated: NOW YOU CAN WATCH IT ALL GO DOWN!!!!

The Coffee Cup Cockroach Incident. Dated: June 9-10, 2013.

This letter to husband pretty much describes my fear of cockroaches in an action. I can distinctly remember throwing the cup at the wall and seeing that damn bug SURVIVE. THE THING SOME HOW LATCHED ON TO THE WALL LIKE SOME SH*T FROM THE MATRIX AND JUST SCUTTLED UP THE WALL AFTER THE CUP EXPLODED.

It was actually a moment straight from my nightmares.


June 9th, 2013
Early Morning- 5:50 AM

Morning started off as so: wake up. Go get my usually coffee. Pick up coffee cup. Roach so big in the bottom of the cup that I proceed to throw cup into a wall, where cup shatters. Welcome to the Philippines!

10:30 PM

Long day again. Will write you so much more in the morning. I miss you. Love you.

June 10th, 2013
Early 5:40 AM

Even though I've complained in my letters, I think I have a ton of pride in my work here. I try to work longer than I should. I try to keep complaints to a minimum. I take a few breaks. This is school is such an awesome cultural experience, but it is the most difficult thing I have ever done. 

At Hapao (our next site) we don't have running water. We probably won't have electricity. I don't even think we have doors. This whole thing is going to teach me more about myself and how strong I am as an individual. In fact, being here has made me much more motivated. I think in the last 10 days I have matured more than I have in the last five years. 

Don't take this as I'm doing fine; I am a little miserable. This is hands down the hardest thing I've ever done. I am perma-exhausted and I miss you more and more every day. I am dreading leaving on the 19th a little. Not talking to you for ten days is going to be the most difficult thing yet. 

I just found out there is an opportunity to present research papers in Cambodia in January. This is something I think I really want to do. I love you and I miss you Sunshine. You're amazing and I can't wait to be back in your arms.

<3 Cooper

Life Just Got Crazier And June 08, 2013.

As if life couldn't throw me any more curve balls. I got the news late last night that my little sister is expecting the next generation of my family. Finding words to describe how I feel about being an official Auntie ( I am an unofficial Auntie to four little ones) is difficult. Excited. Elated. Overwhelmed. Selfish. Selfish because I am glad my parents will finally get off my back about giving them a grand baby. I am, most of all, happy for my little sis. She is going to be a great parent and I am really looking forward to spoiling the sh*t out of that kid.

Moving on and a small disclaimer before you read this post: I DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE ALL GIRLS NAMED BRANDY ARE DESTINED TO BE STRIPPERS AND I KNOW A COUPLE BRANDYS WHO ARE NOT STRIPPERS AT ALL.

6-8-13
5:50 AM

I needed to sleep so bad. Right before I crashed there was a Roachpocalypse and one of the boys killed at least five in our bathroom. Everything is obviously more fun in the Philippines.

Yesterday, in trench, we started (we as in my trench mates, Doc and a guy named Adam) talking about girls named Brandy and how they are all destined to be strippers. Doc chimes in and says that one of the boy's girlfriend's name is Brandy, so we all take back what we just said. Later in the night the boy and I are talking and "No Phone" by Cake comes on his IPod. I told him that "No Phone" would most definitely would have been my stripper song, to which he responds, "My girlfriend just quit her job as a stripper."

I DIED.

<3 Cooper



Naturally you can tell my absolute hatred and terror of cockroaches in each of my letters to Tucker. Later, as you will see, I become less and less afraid of roaches. I even smashed one with my OWN shoe in Batad. Monumental moment in my life and I still refer to it when I need to demonstrate my abilities to overcome obstacles.

Chaos and The Entry from June 7th, 2013.

Life has officially reached epic chaos status. It happened. 43 days to go and it happened. I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 43 days, but I have a good feeling it is going to be full of wine, packing,, calling Mom, calling Grandma, sending ungodly amounts of Facebook messages to my best friend (who is currently in Chile, being a bad ass bitch), annnnnnnnd crying. Probably a lot of crying.

I dropped my visa application off today and things got a whole lot more real in a matter of seconds. About as real as they can get now. Not seeing Tucker for six months is a long time. An incredibly long time.  Tonight's journal entry is especially mushy.

6-7-13
10:30 PM

I am an inch away from a mental collapse. Been trying to hold it together, but today has been rough of me. I am sad, local kids saw me naked. Today has just been rough. I am mentally drained- one of the boy's birthday is tomorrow so we get to party.

Most of my nights are spent thinking about how much I miss you. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, I am going to cuddle with you SO MUCH when I get home. I'm sorry I complain about it when I am home.  Cuddling is what I miss the most. Touching you, laying in bed and all of our laughter over the silliest stuff. I miss you so much. You're so amazing. Our life is so amazing. I must have done something right. I got to bed every night dreaming of you. I love you so much Tucker.

Love- Cooper

I Hit The Wall Of Absolute Sadness. Dated: June 06, 2013

I was reading back through more of my journal entries from last Summer. I honestly got really teary reading a few of the final entries. The ones I wrote to Tucker on my last few days in the Philippines. I wrote about how the place changed my life. The Philippines changed me fundamentally, as a human, for the better. I can only hope that one day everyone can have an adventure that changes the way they see the world, just like I did and I plan to keep doing.

Our world is a beautiful place and it would be a damn shame to not see every inch of it as possible.

06-06-2013
Late Night (Like 11:15 PM)

Hey Baby,

Sorry I keep telling you I'll get to talk to you late at night. Life gets too busy and it is actually impossible to get back to SITMO. SO i can just write to you instead. 

I hit the wall of absolute sadness today. Part of me is not wanting to FaceTime you any more because it makes me so sad. I've never missed you so much. The best part of thinking about coming home is knowing that on my birthday, that very next day, I get to wake up in bed in your arms.

I Want to Sleep For Days- Dated: June 06, 2013

Life in the Philippines, particularly Ifugao, is night and day different than life in San Jose, California. This post highlights just a few of the differences I began to recognize at the beginning of my stay. Luckily I was able to adapt quickly. Kiangan gave me a renewed sense of my surroundings. The town taught me so much about myself and the things in my life I take for granted.




June 06, 2013 
Early Morning 5:20 AM
Pot Dimensions: 
Diameter- 14 Cm
Height- 6 Cm

I wish I could write you at night, but there is always too much happening by 9. I want to sleep for days. The beginning of work yesterday was awesome! I dug up a (possible) Placenta Pot! A FULL ONE TOO #Beginner'sluck. The interesting this is that we don't know why the pot is where it is- we can't figure it out why it is alone or why it is placed where it is. Usually when the team finds a pot like that it denotes a baby burial. Beneath the top pot is usually another with a baby skeleton. They've found two at our site- one last year and one early yesterday during test probes! But beneath my pot was just more rock. Pretty amazing that something 35 Cm below ground surface could still be intact. 

Right now my trench is roughly 50 Cm below ground, so juts over a foot deep. We are still in the Agricultural layer. The Agro layer is basically whatever is either covered or dug up during the rice cultivation. So after Agro layer (which my trench is still in) we hit Cultural layer. Which will hopefully be what I shall name "Archaeological Find Pay-dirt". I really hope we dig up this village. 

After two days I already I have a huge attachment to our site. Yesterday I got to play with my first Plumbob. Great name, right? We mapped, which at first I f***ing hated, but even by the third day I am starting to fall in love with this routine. Wake up, get coffee, write you, plug my phone in, change, eat, jeepney, write in journal, dig, map, lunch, dig or screen, clean up, jeepney, home, either shower or potwash or accession, SITMO to text you, more post-field work, dinner, a beer, sleep. Wake up at 5 AM- repeat.

So far every one is pretty cool. I don't think we guessed field work was going to be so hard. Field school isn't easy, especially in the Philippines where bugs are f***ing massive and scary and we have no running water. Going abroad is never easy, but Kiangan is its own brand of difficult. Life here is very different. Slow. I already can't wait to take a hot shower or use a toilet that has a proper seat. 

But the plus sides of this place: The people are beautiful and hospitable. They love to wave at us. It makes me happy. I already love it here, even with all the cockroaches. I will be interested to see how the group dynamic progresses.

Last night there were kids practicing a dance out in the courtyard of our hostel. June 17th is Ifugao day and the ten surrounding provinces meet and have a parade and dance competition with their regional dances. I was amazing watching the kids, but I made them nervous. I could tell. While I watched I became jealous and sad; I was envious of having a culture with traditional dancing. I realized how vanilla my upbringing was and yearned for a rich cultural history like the people of Kiangan. In that moment, I realized that the dancing kids and I were probably thinking the same things- except on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

Out to the field, I miss you to the moon-
<3 Cooper

Mini Post

I am getting closer and closer to leaving. The date is tentatively June 27th because I need to be back in Manila by the 29th for our first day of Field School. Between now (May 6th) and then I have a plateful of garbage to finish. Visa applications, plane tickets, logistics, packing, cleaning, work, life. I keep going in waves. One minute I am jumping for joy that I will be moving across the world to follow my dreams, the next minute I start to realize all of the ducks I have to force into a line before I get there.

Tucker and I have been talking quite a bit about my big move. Breaching subjects like why now? How long do you thing you're going to be gone? I don't know. I can be about as indecisive as they get, but when I finally make up my mind I am going to dive head first in to whatever I do. I'll write more later about what I fully realized about my "big move". It still seems a little too surreal.