Chaos and The Entry from June 7th, 2013.

Life has officially reached epic chaos status. It happened. 43 days to go and it happened. I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 43 days, but I have a good feeling it is going to be full of wine, packing,, calling Mom, calling Grandma, sending ungodly amounts of Facebook messages to my best friend (who is currently in Chile, being a bad ass bitch), annnnnnnnd crying. Probably a lot of crying.

I dropped my visa application off today and things got a whole lot more real in a matter of seconds. About as real as they can get now. Not seeing Tucker for six months is a long time. An incredibly long time.  Tonight's journal entry is especially mushy.

6-7-13
10:30 PM

I am an inch away from a mental collapse. Been trying to hold it together, but today has been rough of me. I am sad, local kids saw me naked. Today has just been rough. I am mentally drained- one of the boy's birthday is tomorrow so we get to party.

Most of my nights are spent thinking about how much I miss you. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, I am going to cuddle with you SO MUCH when I get home. I'm sorry I complain about it when I am home.  Cuddling is what I miss the most. Touching you, laying in bed and all of our laughter over the silliest stuff. I miss you so much. You're so amazing. Our life is so amazing. I must have done something right. I got to bed every night dreaming of you. I love you so much Tucker.

Love- Cooper