I Hit The Wall Of Absolute Sadness. Dated: June 06, 2013

I was reading back through more of my journal entries from last Summer. I honestly got really teary reading a few of the final entries. The ones I wrote to Tucker on my last few days in the Philippines. I wrote about how the place changed my life. The Philippines changed me fundamentally, as a human, for the better. I can only hope that one day everyone can have an adventure that changes the way they see the world, just like I did and I plan to keep doing.

Our world is a beautiful place and it would be a damn shame to not see every inch of it as possible.

06-06-2013
Late Night (Like 11:15 PM)

Hey Baby,

Sorry I keep telling you I'll get to talk to you late at night. Life gets too busy and it is actually impossible to get back to SITMO. SO i can just write to you instead. 

I hit the wall of absolute sadness today. Part of me is not wanting to FaceTime you any more because it makes me so sad. I've never missed you so much. The best part of thinking about coming home is knowing that on my birthday, that very next day, I get to wake up in bed in your arms.

"Manila: Day 1" Dated 06-01-13

Before I actually get to what the letter to Tuck Tuck said, I have to let you know that I was emailed explicit directions to walk off of the plane in Manila waving a paper with my last initial on it. My last initial is L, I didn't read the email until I'd already arrived in Manila and I hastily drew an L on the second page of the Turtle journal. So now, almost a year later, the L is faded and got wet (the Philippines are wet). I wrote the journal entry over the big, blue, highlighter L.

Hey Sunshine!

 Sorry about the big L. The directions left for me at the airport explicitly stated that I was supposed to be waiting with the first letter of my last name. 

Today was surreal. First- Manila is humid as f*ck. Even the girl from Florida is losing it in this humidity. I constantly have frizzy hair. Other than that- this is such a beautiful place! The atmosphere, the landscape, and most importantly the people.  Everyone said hello to us this morning. People, (old women even!) tried to give up their seat on the bus for us!

Storm: Today I experienced my first Manila rain storm. It was beautiful to say the least. We were riding in a Jeepney, which is basically a campus taxi that is a jeep with a long bed and no windows. It was POURING. I've never heard such loud rain in my life. It flooded in three minutes and it was an insta-traffic jam. The thunder was SO loud too.  (I was completely wrong about Jeepneys, I found this out later when we rode Jeepneys everywhere in Ifugao.) 

At this point I fell asleep mid-letter. I just spent nearly 24 hours traveling across the world. Give me a break. 

"Sunshine" Dated: 5-30-13

I wrote my husband a bunch of letters while I was in the Philippines last summer. I will continue the tradition this summer after I jet off again. Writing was my equivalent to talking to him since I stay in an area without consistent internet access and I didn't really have another choice.

 I truly do love to write, even though my grammar may not be the greatest. I also abuse commas with little shame. Nothing that I am blind to, but anyway, I wrote my husband these letters in a faded turtle journal that traveled around Luzon with me. Since they are what I lived through while I was abroad, I felt like I needed to share them. Mostly because I want a double record of what I lived through, but mainly because I want to share the joy of being abroad with the world and let others read the types of experiences you probably with have in the middle of no where Philippines.

So here goes:

Post #1
Date: 5-30-2013

Sunshine,

I didn't tell you, but a week before I left I bought a journal just to write you letters and tell you about my time away, even when I can't physically tell you. Let me give you a forewarning-
-This will be all my intimate feelings, thoughts and experiences while I am away.

To start off, I am on my flight to Beijing right now. I am watching Wreck It Ralph and I am crying. It all just hit me at once when I started the movie. You are actually my entire life. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but whatever it was, it was the best decision I ever made in my life. You are the absolute most incredible human beint I have ever met. I love yo uto the moon, Turtles. This is going to be a hard month and half for us, but I have so much faith and absolute love in our relationship that I know we are going to be fine. You make me so happy and I am so so so so so glad you came to Cassie's that one September.

Love Always,
Coop

Ps- I can't understand anyone on this plane. FML.

So this was post #1, of many. Obviously if you are reading this you know exactly what you are getting yourself in to. A lot of this is mushy, a lot of this will be about my life in Kiangan. Prepare yourself.