My Long Distance Relationship Post.

I live in China. Hubs lives in California. We're both following our dreams. We both have our own lives. We talk every day, for hours, even when one of us should probably be sleeping. People still don't get us. They really don't need to, but here are some really stupid questions/comments with really accurate reactions that we've both got or heard:

"Do you guys still love each other?/ Are you still in love?"

You're messing with me right? Never ask that question again.

"Are you getting a divorce?"

NO. No no no no no no nononononono. Not even a discussion topic. That's never even come up.

"Do you trust your husband/ Does your husband trust you?"

Do you think the guy who convinced me to change my last name would've let me move to China if he didn't trust me?

"I was in a long distance relationship once. I know it doesn't work out." 

I don't even know how to address this one. Thanks for your optimism? Question Mark?

"How do you stay intimate over that kind of distance??"

It's 2014. Figure it out yourself. 

"What's the name of his girlfriend back home?"

Haven't heard that one before. You so witty.

LOL... not.

"When are you going to move home?"

Whenever I feel like it. 

"I couldn't stand spending that much time away from my husband/boyfriend/significant other."

Okay, I do get this..... a little. And yeah, Tucker and I really do miss one another more than I thought possible, but that hasn't stopped either of us from having the time of our lives, making new friends, and participating in many shenanigans with these new friends. 

Basically what I'm trying to say is:

Our lifestyle is not the easiest to comprehend, but it's working for us and we are happy.... and in the end that is all that truly matters anyway.:). High five to all of you Long Distance Relationships out there! We got this!

I Hit The Wall Of Absolute Sadness. Dated: June 06, 2013

I was reading back through more of my journal entries from last Summer. I honestly got really teary reading a few of the final entries. The ones I wrote to Tucker on my last few days in the Philippines. I wrote about how the place changed my life. The Philippines changed me fundamentally, as a human, for the better. I can only hope that one day everyone can have an adventure that changes the way they see the world, just like I did and I plan to keep doing.

Our world is a beautiful place and it would be a damn shame to not see every inch of it as possible.

06-06-2013
Late Night (Like 11:15 PM)

Hey Baby,

Sorry I keep telling you I'll get to talk to you late at night. Life gets too busy and it is actually impossible to get back to SITMO. SO i can just write to you instead. 

I hit the wall of absolute sadness today. Part of me is not wanting to FaceTime you any more because it makes me so sad. I've never missed you so much. The best part of thinking about coming home is knowing that on my birthday, that very next day, I get to wake up in bed in your arms.

Bugs, Sore Body, Mysteries. Dated June 5th, 2013.

I am pretty sure that I warned you previously that this blog was going to be a "no strings attached" kind of look into what my life was like last summer. That, obviously, hasn't changed. I will not be editing out specific happenings of my days in the field*. Editing my journal for a blog would take away the authenticity of my experience. Being a girl who has known nothing other than Western comforts, I believe that my words paint an accurate picture of what this culture shock was.  I preemptively apologize if it makes you squeamish, but you're just going to have to deal. Such is life.

*Disclaimer: I will edit coarse language with ****. My Grandma may read this. She doesn't need to see that s**t.

06/05/13
-Early Morning- 6 Am

There are spots on my body that I didn't even know existed that are sore. I'm really excited about getting into the field today. My trench is so fascinating. Like a big mystery my group needs to solve. I guess there is an option to write a paper to present in Cambodia in January- I am really thinking about it. Especially because I could probably use that writing to apply to Grad School. 

The only thing I have issues with is the washing of artifacts. OH MY GOD, SO TEDIOUS. It sucks because it's like you take a shower (you get filthy in the field) and then you get to deal with more f***ing dirt that is all over the artifacts. So you get filthy all over again.

In other news: THE BUGS HERE ARE F***ING MASSIVE. OH.MY.GOD.  So, yesterday I rode on top of the Jeepney- they take us to the site every day and you can ride inside or on top. So, first day into the field, where do you thinkg Jessie Pope rode? ON THE ROOF LIKE AN IDIOT. I can't lie, the views were beautiful. but that's where the fun stops. The catch of riding on the roof is you get to dodge tree branches. Sounds easy, right? Just move the trees out of the way as you go. 

WRONG. Guess what is in those trees? F***ing red ants, bees, millipedes,  AND SPIDERS BIGGER THAN MY HAND. I sh** you not, Joff (a guy with us) warned me about spiders. A second later I turn around and BAM. A spider with a torso as long as a tampon and legs longer than my fingers. Sweet mother of god. It was traumatizing. In that moment I decided that it was perfectly acceptable to be terrified of spiders. And in that moment I was. 

An example of a giant ass spider. She was on our way to the field, roughly 3 ft from our heads. It took a few weeks to notice her.

Then, of course, the beetles. There was a Rhino Beetle on our door two nights ago  and I didn't even scream over it. I think I'm starting to becoming jaded. Alright, time for breakfast and more dirt. Just remember, everything is more fun in the Philippines.

If I could give you an example of how big this guy was: make a hang loose sign with your thumb and pinky. Measure the distance between the two. Yep, that was the length of this guy's antennae. 

<3
Coop

P.s. I finally feel a poop coming on. 
Late at night:
Big, Big P.s.- I will almost always write about my day the next day. Archaeology is exhausting, but at least my ass will be nice :).

Oh, and when I put something in bold: I marked what time of the day I was writing Tucker. It was usually whenever I could squeeze time in.

Being abroad without the person you love is a series of  challenges. The biggest challenge? Communication. And not in the "we just don't talk any more" kind of way. It is more in the "I don't know if there is going to be power or internet access where we are going" kind of way.

While I was in South America communicating was relatively easy. The hotel we stayed in had internet in the main restaurant and although the area was rural a few places had some sort of internet access. Communication in Ifugao is another story. On a daily basis we would lose power for hours at a time. When we lost power we would scramble around to make sure any electronics were unplugged; if they turned the power back on while something was plugged in, it would blow up. This happened twice. Not a good look. At one point a storm came in and knocked out power for almost two days. Or maybe three. I can't even remember. Those days were such a blur.

Facetime dates with my main piece. 

You're 24??! You're MARRIED? YOU'RE MOVING ABROAD!?! (Part 1 of many, I am sure).

A week ago, at this exact moment, I finished up my interview with the company I wanted to teach for in China. I was trying to figure out how to get to Tucker, who was across town, and the struggle was real. His team  having their annual team dinner at what looked like a delicious Greek restaurant. I am not big on cabs, too expensive, so I just opted to stay in our hotel until they returned.

When Tucker came back to our little hotel nest he was definitely a little tipsy. And Tipsy Tucker is the best Tucker. A waiter had confused "iced tea" for "long island iced tea" and Tucker was handed the mistakes. Yes, plural. At the game the following morning the parents fawned over the persistence of Hubs at the restaurant. Apparently Tucker was going to stop at nothing to make sure I got to experience the fabulous Greek food like he did. In reality, he knows how hangry I get and did not want to feel the wrath of hangry Jessie come down upon him that night.

He is seriously the absolute greatest.

Four hours later, from this moment a week ago,  I was offered a position teaching in China. And I took it. Immediately. Lord knows that if I gave myself more than thirty-seconds to think about it I would've rejected the offer. I mean, I took it immediately after I realized the email was sent directly to my junk mail folder. Gmail freaked out and didn't recognize the address of the HR woman that sent me the position. This caused minor confusions when the recruiter congratulated me in an obligatory 'welcome aboard' email that was answered with minor confusion (and a lot of happiness) on my end.

My week since accepting the position has been full of, "Oh my gosh! China is SO far!" and "That's amazing! Do it while you're young!" and a little, " I could never do that" which I call total B.S. on. You can do it, you just don't want to do it.

Among all of these questions, and my personal favorite, "What about your husband?" What about my husband? He has a name, you know. It's Tucker. What about Tucker?

Well guess what?
We will still be married.
We will be completely in love.
We will obsess over each other.
We will talk at every chance, just like we do right now.
We will tell each other the mundane play-by-play of our day.
We will grow in our marriage. Probably more than we ever have previously.
We will always have each other to lean on when times get rough.
We will still be together.
I will just live really, really far away for roughly fourteen months.

We chose to share our lives at a young age and we get that. We got that a long time ago... Like nearly three years ago when we tied the knot. What we didn't choose to do was to quit our dreams simply because we got married. Newsflash: we don't live in 1950 any more. You can still be married and live your life. Even if that life takes you in a direction you never thought you'd go, you can still be married!  No longer is it about being adhering to the societal norm of "marriage" to Tucker or I. To us, it is about being happy. It's about looking at our life 60 years from now and being proud of our accomplishments both as a couple and as individuals. We are still individual people. We still have individual aspirations. We both still have places we want to go and people we want to see. None of that disappeared when we paid $66 to the state of Oregon and signed a piece of paper that legally (and symbolically) glued our lives together. None of it.

We get one shot at this life thing. We plan on making our shot the best it can be. Even if that shot means having to spend time a world away to follow our dreams.