My Long Distance Relationship Post.

I live in China. Hubs lives in California. We're both following our dreams. We both have our own lives. We talk every day, for hours, even when one of us should probably be sleeping. People still don't get us. They really don't need to, but here are some really stupid questions/comments with really accurate reactions that we've both got or heard:

"Do you guys still love each other?/ Are you still in love?"

You're messing with me right? Never ask that question again.

"Are you getting a divorce?"

NO. No no no no no no nononononono. Not even a discussion topic. That's never even come up.

"Do you trust your husband/ Does your husband trust you?"

Do you think the guy who convinced me to change my last name would've let me move to China if he didn't trust me?

"I was in a long distance relationship once. I know it doesn't work out." 

I don't even know how to address this one. Thanks for your optimism? Question Mark?

"How do you stay intimate over that kind of distance??"

It's 2014. Figure it out yourself. 

"What's the name of his girlfriend back home?"

Haven't heard that one before. You so witty.

LOL... not.

"When are you going to move home?"

Whenever I feel like it. 

"I couldn't stand spending that much time away from my husband/boyfriend/significant other."

Okay, I do get this..... a little. And yeah, Tucker and I really do miss one another more than I thought possible, but that hasn't stopped either of us from having the time of our lives, making new friends, and participating in many shenanigans with these new friends. 

Basically what I'm trying to say is:

Our lifestyle is not the easiest to comprehend, but it's working for us and we are happy.... and in the end that is all that truly matters anyway.:). High five to all of you Long Distance Relationships out there! We got this!

Six Thoughts at A Chinese Hospital As Told by Gifs

To anyone who has had an experience in a Chinese hospital, I commend you. It was a new cultural experience to say the least. I mean, isn't that why I moved in the first place? Let's just get straight to the nitty gritty:

1. How can so many people fit into this building? This is a fire hazard.
But actually, the hospital made the subway look tame.

2. Mother of god, is that a f&$^ing drive-thru window to get my blood drawn?!!

I want to be joking, but I'm not.  I'm terrified of getting my blood drawn in general .

3. When was the last time that woman changed her gloves?

Lawd, help me.

4. I don't care if it's nine am, I need a drink, or five.

At this point I'd had my blood drawn in a drive-thru blood draw window, watched my friend almost pass out, stood in line for 45 minutes to get an x-ray and been felt up by an aging Chinese woman. 

5. I have made a huge mistake. 

This is actually my nightmare.

6. I'M ALIVE. I SURVIVED. 

Of course, they took my blood pressure last. I'm sure it was through the roof. 

All things aside, after getting over the initial terror, everyone was super nice and the experience wasn't as terrifying as I'd imagined. 

8 Pleasant Surprises

I live outside of my comfort zone daily hourly in Beijing. This city is amazing, but damn do I miss distinctly U.S. comforts. Here are seven pleasant surprises I've noticed in the last two months:

1. Produce is cheap. 
Cooking at home is my zen. There is nothing I love more than digging into a meal that I created or being able to share that meal with others. When I first got to Beijing I was trapped in a prison-like hotel room. There was one window, but the window looked out into the hall (which I still don't get). The only kitchenesque tools I had were a ziploc container, a little soup spoon, and a hot water maker. I will admit that I probably (coughcoughdefinitelycoughcough) ate more Ramen noodles than one person should in a two week period. I wanted nothing more to cook myself a meal or make a delicious salad. When I finally moved into my apartment I all of my wishes came true.... there is a giant wet market with so much cheap produce. It's basically heaven on earth every time I walk in to buy groceries. So cheap. So delicious. So happy.

That farmer's market though....

2. When your dinner comes out looking like the photo posted on the restaurant's menu.
This is a crucial pleasant surprise. Chinese menus with photos are now solely to blame for my trust issues. More than once I have ordered a dish and had and ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LOOKING DISH placed in front of my face. In case you ever visit, Mala Tang and Hot Pot are safe bets. Always. You know exactly what you're getting because you make your own!

New favorite food Hot Pot!

3. A stranger translates for you, even when you don't ask.
I had an instance on the sub about a week back when this adorable little old woman was leaning over to look at my Kindle, giggled, and said something in Chinese. I gave her the saddest blank stare because I had no idea what was going on. Another passenger goes, "She thinks your writing looks funny". I just lost it and started laughing too. I spent the next 15 minutes of my ride talking with both of the people. It feels good to be able to communicate, even with a medium, because I feel like I am getting a better understanding of what is going on around me. Everything is so different. It feels good to have some sort of an idea of what I am doing.

4.When other expats recognize your sorority/ university/ sport's team shirt, then hunt you down to talk to you.
 I can't even begin to describe how nice this is. I've made so many friends in Beijing wearing my Lewis and Clark Football shirt, my Pi Phi shirt, and my Shark's shirt. Familiarity is key in China and when another expat recognizes something, they jump all over it. Myself included.

5.Seeing a perfect sky.
Blue skies aren't frequent. When you get them, it's a damn good day.

I took these a week a part. Not even the same city. 

6. Mcdonald's French Fries at 3 AM taste just like they do at home.

No words for what went down this night.

7. You can BYOB to most restaurants. For free. 
MY FAVORITE PART OF BEIJING! You can, in most establishments, bring your own booze/ drink in for free. The best.

8. When cars stop for you (pedestrian you) in the crosswalk.
Beijing has done an absolutely fantastical job of teaching me how to be an aggressive pedestrian. Yes, you read that right. What South America scared out of me, Asia brought right back in a blazing glory. You have to be aggressive in any facet of your life to get anything done. You have to be an aggressive subway rider if you want to catch the sub. You have to be an aggressive umbrella-er when it rains or you're going to get poked in the face a lot. You have to be an aggressive pedestrian or you're never going to cross the street. Ever.

I am sure there are many other things that I can't think of. Today I survived my first Chinese hospital experience. That will be an entire other post for another time because it deserves an entire post to itself. Sorry I haven't been posting lately, my computer charger broke on me! I'm going to get another one soon! Stay tuned!

12 Reasons Why Moving To China Feels Like You've Gone Back To College

1. You constantly have no idea where you are/ where you're going/ have that one guy who tells you, "Don't worry, it's like two blocks this way".... you arrive nearly forty minutes later, disgruntled and drenched. Beijing blocks are no joke.

One time I had to buy an umbrella. I wasn't impressed. 

2. You have to figure out all the "spots" in town. Spot to buy your western groceries or groceries in general. Spot that accepts credit card (few and farrrrrr between). Spot to find clothes that are going to fit your giant western ass. Spot to get your phone reloaded. Spot that has cheapest pasta. Spot that has the best cheese selection because cheese is like the holy grail over here. Spot with the best steam buns. Spot that has the cheapest beer....

Our favorite spot- Sanlitun ;).

3. Which leads me to #3: Most local beers are roughly 50 cents for 600ml. Hello Freshman fifteen... or what I like to call the "Beijing Bulge". I regret nothing....

4. You drink in the streets. Because you can. Because Beijing.

Don't mind if I do.

5. Your friends all invite you out on Monday- Thursday nights because you know you don't have to get up for work until 2pm or later the next day. Damn near feels like I've raided the class schedule to get the latest starting classes so I can stay up as late as I deem fit the night before.

I love my coworkers.

6. You begin to invent bizarre food combos since you still can't read ingredient labels because everything is in Chinese characters. Today was a laughing cow cheese salsa sandwich. Judge me. Groceries are bought for two reasons: 1. they're cheap, you're poor and 2. they remotely resemble something from back home. You've hit the jackpot if you recognize the label.

You so precious.

7. Macaroni and cheese day is basically Christmas come early.

8. The expat community is connected by, at most, two degrees of separation. Have fun with that.

Representing two countries and five states.

9. You walk or take public transportation. EVERYWHERE.

I can barely breathe, let alone move.

10. You live in a quirky apartment that continuously reveals its quirkiness. And by reveals I mean has something break. Thank goodness our landlords are wonderful.

11. You eat ramen noodles with no shame. In case you thought ramen noodles couldn't get any cheaper, you were wrong.

No shame. None.

12. There is always that one guy on the subway that smells like a liquor cabinet. And that one person usually ends up giving you contact intoxication.

There are actually no complaints in this recent epiphany of mine. In fact, I rather enjoy feeling like I am back at University once more. Here is to the next 11 months of sort of feeling like an undergrad again!

The Cacophony of Beijing Downpours

Beijing gives an entire new meaning to the saying, " When it rains, it pours"... because in Beijing when it pours, it pours.  And yesterday I got to walk home through one of those 'it pours' moments. During this moment, I had a few things run through my mind:

Oh my goodnes. 

-My god. How does it rain this much? Born and raised in rainy Oregon and this is still absolutely ridiculous. 

-Is this how you hold an umbrella? *looks around inconspicuously to stare at other umbrella holders to make sure I am, in fact, holding the umbrella correctly*

-Does this mean I am going to see the sky tomorrow? Ehhhhhhhhhhh- Probably not. (Spoiler alert: I haven't seen the sky in the last three days, didn't come out today either).

The street to my apartment. 

-If I think the trumpeting of Beijing car horns, scooter horns, and/or bicycle during normal days is bad, this is the absolute worst.

-Never again will I giggle at people who have an affinity for rubber shoes such as crocs, flip flops, etc.  In fact, I will probably invest in some as well because these converse are not equipped for rain like this. 

-Mother of god that woman is wearing a full trash bag as a coat. The ingenuity of Chinese people during rainstorms is fascinating! 

-Oh! A waterfall from the top of the side walk to the bottom! How aesthetically pleasing! Now I have to figure out how to maneuver my way around that without getting hit by a car or being drenched with potentially toxic run-off. 

-I don't even want to know the kind of crap this rainstorm is washing out from the streets. The water is literally black.

- I think the rain may be burning my skin off....Ok, maybe I'm like 85% feeling phantom burning, but I'm pretty sure the other 15% is legit.

- OH MY GOD THIS LAKE WAS CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A SIMPLE PUDDLE. I then realize all Beijing "puddles" are lies and they are never to be trusted.

- Is this how Noah felt when the flood was coming?

- I don't care if this thing is saving my hair/ skin/ clothes, I still hate umbrellas.

I survived the downpour walk from the subway station back to my apartment, took off my pants, and then my roommate came home and invited me to go get Mexican food AND margaritas. This one time, I put my pants back on.  I'm glad I did because those nachos with sour cream and that passionfruit margarita made my Friday that much better. 

                                       

Small update to the Beijing rain: 

It's pouring again. I lit my Ikea vanilla candles. I'm drinking tea and devouring Game of Thrones. My neighbor is playing piano beautifully next door. This feels like heaven.

Settling in, The Daily Adventure, Candy Mountain........ I Finally Have My Own Bed!

 I GOT MY OWN BED.

This moment is momentous! I have been living out of a suitcase since June 26th and even though I pinned that one quote on Pinterest that said, "I would gladly live out of suitcase if it meant I got to travel the world" I got to gloriously unpack that suitcase Friday! IT FELT SO GOOD. Getting settled in China is not easy at all. Everything is a process. Everything happens so fast. Everything is organized chaos. Or just chaos.

Now, on to the good stuff:

My apartment is quirky and I love it. My roomies and I picked a place that is distinctly Chinese. Up four flights of stairs, no elevator, and cheap Chinese restaurants pepper the area.  We have one shower, but it is a shower head in the wall with a drain on the floor. There is no section in the bathroom partitioned for showering. You just shower over the drain. I am missing my bathtub quite a bit to be honest. My bed is a rock, as are most beds in China,  I will definitely be splurging on a mattress pad the moment I get my first paycheck. Our kitchen is big, and as soon as we settle in more I am going to start putting it to work. There isn't a stove, but we have gas heat, so I am going to see what I can do with it. I am SO excited to explore Chinese cuisine and ingredients so I can learn how to make dishes from China to bring home to my family. My inner domestic goddess is squee-ing! 

Working on giving my room a bit more character, but I love it!

The garden outside of my window. Happiness!

My favorite part of where I moved is the location. We are within (mostly within at least) walking distance of everything that I personally find important. There is a brewery here called Great Leap that has one of the best hamburgers I've ever tasted and I can get there in 20 minutes. I can walk outside my door, go around a corner, and there is a giant market here that sells many western items for decent non-imported prices. There are many GOOD ethnic restaurants in the area. I've had some of the best Middle Eastern food in my entire life since I got to Beijing. You can truly find nearly anything here if you just look hard enough. Except for dill pickles. Still haven't been able to track those down yet.   

My babe/ love bug/ Roomie/ burger splitter

I've settled in to my new job and I love it. I am teaching mostly 6-10 year olds and they are so much fun! I have kids who are the age that they still say hilarious things and may not know a ton, but they are like little sponges and suck up all the new knowledge I share with them. To top off the job, my coworkers are hilarious. I work in a center with 98% guys and many of them are from California. It's nice to be able to talk about home occasionally!

Break time!

My little guys! I love them!

"It's an elephant, teacher!"

The best part about Beijing? I'm happy. I'm genuinely happy and I haven't been happy like this for a long time. I find a lot of joy in wandering around and just taking in the sights, sounds and smells (even when they are gross). I love the daily adventure that is finding food and I have become quite fond of just walking into a restaurant and pointing at a photo for meals. It's exciting and a little scary because it is such a shot in the dark.  

Looks like a dinosaur. 

I went to dinner with a friend and we were discussing how day to day life here is never the same. Sure, most of the days we go to work and then we come home, but all of the events in between these to points of our day are never there same. Different street food stands pop up daily. Different street performers appear in the subway stations. Our kids have on and off days. Everything is in constant motion in this city. Beijing makes sure that I am always on an adventure.

Two-ish Weeks in Beijing!!!

I finally started at my new school! 

Since I last posted, life has been a crazy, fun, and stressful whirlwind, which is why It has been so long! I guess I will just start from the top:

I started my new job on Monday, August 4th. I trained for a week and reported to my new school Saturday, August 9th. By the way, I love the children here. They are the absolute cutest humans on the planet. ABSOLUTE CUTEST! I will definitely be sharing photos of them in the near future. Basically I spent my day sitting in class with five year olds, some who kept touching my hair and telling me I was beautiful, then we would sing and dance. My favorite was getting to scream Let It Go during break. I am basically a 5' 8" child and I still love that song. The kids have so much energy. I love it.........

At least for now.

  

They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin' dirty. 

I found two awesome roommates who are both into the types of shenanigans I am..... Which may be simultaneously the greatest and worst thing ever. Either way, I adore these two. Team Unicorn, unite!
I don't have any photos of our new place yet, but it is quirky. We found a place near bar street (also, may be the best and worst thing ever) that is in the middle of residential area. The apartment is..... different. I'll just say that. Staying there is going to be an adventure in itself. 

I've figured out a few interesting things about Beijing in the last two weeks that I've been here. Just a few little tidbits from me to you, if you ever plan on visiting:

Tidbit #1:
IT IS EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES ON THE SUBWAY. YOU SEE AN OPEN SEAT, YOU TAKE IT, YOU DON'T GIVE IT UP UNTIL YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO (unless there is a super cute child, elderly individual, or pregnant woman... because that's just what you do) . YOU FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR THAT SEAT AND YOU ENJOY EVERY DAMN MINUTE OF IT! But seriously, I love the subway here. So fast, mostly air conditioned, but incredibly crowded. I have spent upwards of forty minutes standing up trying to get from point A to point B. Thank goodness for my kindle and Game of Thrones. At 32 cents a ride I can't really say no.

Metro App saves my life every day.

Tidbit #2: 
Be willing to step out of your comfort zone in Beijing. No one really believes in personal space. Prepare to be touched, have photos taken at any moment, and stared at every where you go. Two weeks in and I have already had people touch my hair (kids especially), people touch my hands, and many photo requests. It isn't very bothersome, but some thing we don't really deal with back home. Some times it can be really hilarious and you roll with the punches.

The usual.

This tidbit doesn't stop at personal space; be willing to try any new food too. I can't read or understand Mandarin at all. I can say beer, thank you, cold, and hello. I can recognize the Chinese characters for people, mouth, exit...... Andddddddd that's basically where Jessie's Mandarin stops.

Ordering food is an adventure. I'm still doing a lot of pointing and nodding (and praying that nodding doesn't actually mean something different/offensive to those who live in Beijing). This means that my taste buds are currently on an adventure as well. Grocery shopping is a scavenger hunt.

Mmmmmm. Chicken Essence!

This doesn't mean that Beijing doesn't have Western food- it does. You just have to find it (see above reference about grocery shopping being a bit of scavenger hunt). I must say though, I had the best burger of my life at a brewery here called Great Leap. I mean, we are talking incredible by U.S. standards. And I don't even like burgers usually.

Tidbit #3:

Beijing is basically a cheaper Las Vegas. You can get roadies for less than $1 and just roll from one place to the next. I have found it common place to see people drinking beers in the streets as early as 9 am and it's totally cool. My first night going out I was afraid to just drink openly, it was then explained to me that it isn't illegal here to have an open container in the streets. As my friend put it, "Jessie, it's Beijing. It's the land of freedom". I'll take it.

Tidbit #4:
Explore!!!This city is incredible. Beijing is vibrant. The people are beautiful. At night after I leave work there are hundreds of people dancing or rollerblading or jump roping in the large open space next to my center. This happens every night and every night it makes me smile.

 I move into my new place on the 22nd. Photos to come!

Miss List.

I have been in Asia since June 27th. 

Stuck in Narita Airport overnight. Things got silly.

39 days without a burrito in my belly.

Seeing this photo actually hurts my feelings a little bit. I have been taking Mexican food for granted.  

Or Pickles......

39 days without being able to understand EXACTLY what I am ordering for dinner.....

Perhaps I can interest in you some Fried Lizard? Snake Pinwheels? Beetle? Scorpion???

On the bright side, I've enjoyed almost everything I've eaten

39 DAYS WITHOUT A GLASS OF GOOD CABERNET

I MISS YOUR TASTE

But I am trying a variety of great Chinese beers. 

Most importantly, these 39 days I've been away from my family have made me realizing how lucky I am to have such an incredible and loving support network back home. I miss these things especially:

Having mom and dad simply a phone call away.

Cuddling with Mozzie 

I miss that face. 

Hanging out this this guy.

My spoiled little guy, Gouda.

And this guy. I miss this guy a ton.

I am slowly teaching myself Mandarin with a great app I discovered my second day here. The app is from Mind Snacks and you can find it here. The app is generally built for little kids, but I learn best if I get to play games so it works well for me! Up to this point I've mastered Numbers, Dates, Months and Seasons. It has more languages, so try it out!

Beijing has been really good to me the last few days. The skies are clear and the sunsets are beautiful. I am happy with where I am. I already feel comfortable with guessing at what I am eating (because I haven't royally messed that up.... yet).

 The people I have met so far have been amazing and lots of fun. 

Team Unicorn. 

Even though I miss many things, and especially Tucker, Mozz and the Boys, Beijing is treating me pretty alright. 

Having a beer underneath the 2008 Olympics Bird's Nest after my first day of work. Amazing.