This is What Happens When You Move Abroad.

My first day here was a bit crazy. I left my hotel in Manila at 2:30 in the morning to catch my flight. I got into Beijing around 11, corralled myself through customs in about an hour, and got into a cab with an HR guy from the company I am working for by 12:15. 

The countdown in my phone! 

Do you ever have those feelings where you feel like the decision you made was the right one? Well, while sitting in the back of the cab and watching Beijing fly by with all of its glorious pollution and neon signs, I had that feeling. I knew I made the right, albeit difficult, choice to leave the U.S. for a bit. 

The night I got here I went on a solo adventure around my hotel. Last year, when I came to Beijing to visit my bestie, the school she worked at was right up the street from where I am staying. Luckily, I recalled eating at a cafeteria in the basement of some random building. When I recognized the building, my heart leapt! I found it! I found delicious local food! My first meal here was a spicy pot filled with quail eggs, cilantro, peanuts, potatoes, seaweed, lotus root, bean sprouts, tofu, seaweed, and a few other things that just looked good so I piled them into my bowl. I was not disappointed. I've eaten there twice since.... no shame.

Two other teachers arrived when I did, but I wasn't able to meet up with either of them for a bit. But when I did, we went on an adventure to find our way around the subway, which is relatively easy to navigate I might add. We ended up in The Forbidden City and Tiananmen  Square. We had so much fun exploring.

We can go in, but first, let me take a selfie.

Forbidden City Touristy

Forbidden City

I can already recognize 4 Chinese characters! Only 4996 to go! :)

Ifugao 2014

July was incredible. 

I know I say that every time I go on some adventure, but this July was truly something special. Ifugao Archaeological Field project's 2014 field season was one for the books. 

Highlights include:

-Turning 25 in the middle of the season. My birthday also coincided with a typhoon that came through so we didn't have to work, but we definitely partied. I was also gifted a gorgeous tribal necklace from some of the guys who work with Save the Ifugao Terraces Movement. One of my absolute favorite gifts ever. Looking at the photos still make me grin. 

-Crossing two landslides in two days. The first landslide crossing was probably the most terrifying experience of my life. Our group had just finished with our community presentation and we were scheduled to visit waterfalls (maybe? it was a secret field trip). Anyway, about 35 minutes into the drive we realized there was a HUGE storm coming through and turned back. Except we turned back a little bit too late. We continued back to camp hoping to beat the storm.... that didn't work out. At one point, while the rain is coming down on us in an absolutely horrifying torrential down pour one of the boys who was in my Jeepney just started saying, "no, no no no no no no" over and over again. The road in front of us had started to slide out! Albeit, it wasn't too close to our Jeepney, but close enough to scare the hell out of me. Then, we proceeded to cross the landslide on foot. Even scarier. As we were going rocks started to come down from the slide..... and the other side was a straight drop probably 50-60ft down. It was a moment I will never forget.

Landslide Walk of Shame

-Having to excavated from my stomach in trench Sisyphus. We named him that.  Yes, the trench that was continual mud and water and a (potentially) collapsed rice terrace. 

-I fell off a rice terrace after spending the most wonderful day playing in hot springs and swimming in a river. In case Doc tries to make anyone think otherwise, I was completely sober. 

-Becoming the group of most unlikely friends. Room two- judgement free! <3. I love these four so much! They made the month so incredible.

From Left to Right: Me, Jen, Yi-Ting and Alex. Beautiful women. 

-Watching a beautiful Harvest ritual and Mumbaki (the local shamans of Ifugao) being ordained. Being able to see rituals like these remind me why I majored in Anthropology.

This barely scratches the surface of my month, but it is a good start. I had internet only on my phone in Ifugao, so I wasn't able to post like I wish I could have. Now, on to Beijing!

That's Just How I Feel.

Here we are...

Currently at my terminal. One too many Mimosas. Maybe a free Blue Moon. Or two. Who cares at this point? I board my plane to Tokyo in 40 minutes. I leave the U.S. for an undetermined amount of time in aboutttttttt 85 minutes. I learned this morning that minutes go by really, really fast when you are trying to keep track of them.

Six months. I'm already counting down the days.

I'm blasting my favorite song at the moment: Am I Wrong? by Nico and Vinz. I am OBSESSED and obviously taking mandatory dance breaks at my favorite points in the song. You should listen to it too.

Today has already been the simultaneously most exciting and saddest day in a long time. US Men's Team advanced in to the final sixteen! Huzzah!l And then I left my Turtles behind..... But for now?? On to the biggest adventure of my life!

24 Hours Out and All The Feels.

WHEN/HOW/WHY IS IT ALREADY JUNE 25TH!?!?!?

Oh my goodness gracious. The 'Final Pack' is 99% done. I think. Check back for an update at a later time.

So here we are! 24 hours left! 24 hours and I'll be on my way to Tokyo. SO CRAZY, but I am very excited! This is going to be the adventure of a life time, even with all of the anxiety I am dealing with right now. I tried to explain to Tucker last night that I've spent essentially a month just sitting around and waiting for this moment. A month is a long time to let myself get into my own head. I don't like to call it anxiety, it's more like, I'm just well aware of everything that could go catastrophically wrong.

What am I doing for my last 23 hours on American soil? Eating cheese. Eating burritos. Mentally preparing my self to get from Point A (Japan) to Point B (The Philippines). Trying to imagine what life is going to be like four weeks from now when I am getting ready to finish up work in the field and I'm on my way to point C (China).

It's overwhelming.

Last night I got really sad when I realized just how much I am going to miss in the next year. The birth of my niece, Aniya. Our 3rd and 4th wedding anniversaries. Tucker's 26th birthday (I missed his 23rd while I was in South America). My 25th and 26th birthdays will both be spent abroad. Friends' weddings. Eating Annie's Mac 'n Cheese with Katie.

Laughing at Mozzie.

Cuddling with Googoo Bear and Bozzywozzy in the mornings. All of the holidays. It's the little things that I take for granted. I'm now realizing that there are many little things that I am going to have to do without.

Packing, Binge Eating, Other Things.

This is overwhelming. 

I've packed and unpacked and repacked my biggest bag. My baggage consists of my husband's old LC football duffle, a Victoria's Secret Pink bag and a waterproof back pack I bought for field school last summer. In case you were wondering, it gets wet in the Philippines. Daily. Each pack has been edited by a few shirts or a scarf. I'm still wondering how I am going to be able to pull this off- especially knowing that I have a day in Tokyo that includes a 50 mile adventure between Narita and Haneda airports. This all, of course, is before I even get to Manila.

I know shoes and bras are the most important things to bring: I'm top-heavy and have the feet of a teenage boy. They're huge. Then the realization that everything I love to eat is nearly impossible to find in Asia. I only say nearly because it may be possible, but I'd probably be spending a month's worth of salary to do it. I am pretty sure that I've put on about 10 pounds in the last month because I know that I won't be able to eat all my favorite things (coughcoughBURRITOScoughcough) for a very, very long time. And then the fact that I can't use most of the face washes or make-up over there because most of them have whitening agents in them...

 Moving across the world is a process. A tedious, expensive, time consuming process.

I've already made a list for my husband to send in goody boxes (whenever I get an address of course) and it looks something like this:
-Big Papa Dill Pickles- obviously my number 1 choice.
-Mascara and Eyeliner.
-Annie's Macaroni and Cheese.
-Cholula or Tapatio- I am really going to miss Mexican food. Mexican food is life.
-Face wash.
-Cover up.
-Photos of my furbabies and family.
-Coffee

My stomach is in knots. I've never been so nervous about something I decided to do. I can't distinguish if this is fear or raw excitement. What ever it is, I'm over feeling like there are constant butterflies in my stomach. We're zeroing in on 60 hours until take-off.

When did the end of June get here? It feels like 2014 just started!

Coming home from the Philippines last July.... Those are the only three bags I'm bringing over!!!

The Plane Pain

 I'm absolutely terrified of planes. At least for the first 45 minutes that I am on one. This is a relatively new development in my life. It started right after my buddy Zach and I took off out of the Santiago, Chile airport. I will go to my grave saying that the damn plane turned completely sideways like we were in some stupid movie. Short flights are nightmares for me. I am convinced every time I hear a noise that it means I am done for. More than once I have held hands with a stranger during a flight and more than once strangers have bought me drinks on because they are very aware of the absolute fear plastered across my face. Normally I quell the anxiety with one too many mimosas and forced nervous laughter.

Zach and I on our way to Uruguay.Struggles.

I leave Thursday.

Everything was packed, to the brim, when I realized I didn't want to bring 3/4ths of the shirts I packed. I know I can buy new clothes there for damn near nothing It's not like I am doing this forever, so I don't really need that much stuff. Do I? I guess I'm just going to have to wait and find out.

Currently.

I came across this post idea while browsing Pinterest. Prompts get my mind jogging. 

Currently thinking:

I leave in five days. This seems unreal. My adventure of a lifetime crept upon me faster than I imagined. Life hasn't fully sunk in yet and I don't think it will officially all sink in until I am stepping on a one way plane to Tokyo. When I used to leave I would always listen to "Leaving on A Jet Plane", now the lyrics are true:

"Oh kiss me, and smile for me. Tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go. 'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go"

Every. Time.

Currently Enjoying:
My final California sunsets for a while. Making dinner with Tucker. Cuddling with my furbabies. Baseball. Eating more pickles than godly possible. Stock piling wine for my return. Daydreaming about all the adventures my best friend and I are about to go on together. Peanut Butter.

Currently Feeling:
Restless. Torn. Excited. Terrified. Relieved. Adventurous. Nervous. Independent.
The list is endless.

Currently Wearing:
My absolutely favorite salmon colored maxi.

Currently Needing:
To shake this god-awful wine hangover.

I brought this on myself.

7 Days

Thoughts that go through my mind while packing to move across the world (with a month long lay over for field work in the Philippines first):

-How the hell do I have so many clothes? I thought my closet was barren. I guess I have zero reasons to complain about having absolutely nothing to wear at this point. I know that is a lie.

-F***, I can't fit any heels in here. Does it even matter? I'm already tall enough anyway.

-Do I need this sweater? Actually? 

-Where did all of these layer tanks come from?

-What the hell!?  These are definitely not mine. Who's are these??

-My life is in shambles. I quit. I can no longer pack things. I can easily survive with what I currently have packed. Right?

-If this is under 50lbs then I am actually the greatest packer in the world. Actually.

-Time for a dance party. Reggaeton it is. Damn, now I miss South America. 

-This is never going to fit.

-I GOT IT ZIPPED UP! I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!

*One minute later*

-DAMN IT ALL TO HELL, I FORGOT MY FAVORITE SHIRT IN THE WASH. This was all for naught! 

Even though I am completely packed, I know that the night before I take off I'm going to realize I forgot something crucial. This is just the way of the world and I have learned to embraced it.

10 Days and a Facelift!

If you visit often, much like my mom (I hope), you can see I FINALLY updated. It was time to start adding fun things to my online persona. Plus, I got a giant ego boost whenever I added HTML into my blog that actually worked. Basically feeling like a boss right now because of a couple of widgets. Holla!

We are almost into single digits until I jet off! I quit being stressed about packing. Whatever is desperately needed is packed, from here on out I am just going to roll with the punches. At this point I am just ready to get there. Now it is mainly trying to figure out technology and making sure all of my ducks are in a row. This is very exciting for me, but I don't think everything has completely sunk in. Moments flit by where I realize that I'm leaving my little bubble of comfort, but they are few are far between. I don't think I am as scared as I am excited to do something different! Here goes!

12 days and June 16, 2013

We're ticking down. 12 days, barely packed, but I am ready. Ready-ish at least.

Reading over this journal post stirred up a lot of memories for me. It is no secret that I am fascinated with death. For a long time, and still, I wanted to be a medical examiner. There is something about that position, in particular, that is incredibly important to me.

Death is such a difficult subject  to grasp. Scary, unknown. For some reason, studying it brings me a lot of peace. So, last summer when we unearthed three deceased children from Old Kiyyangan, all of my aspirations were reaffirmed and the work we were doing seemed even more meaningful to me.

06-16-13
I don't know how to accurately describe the last two days. For one, one of my biggest dreams came true. Albeit a morbid dream, but one none the less, we found a dead person. In fact, we found 3 dead people. Buried together for at least 500 years. Probably under the age of five. I found three dead kids. Once I step back and digest this find, I can't believe that just happened. 

Our resident physical Anthropologist spent two days removing the trio from our trench. I was so fascinated. When everything was finally dug up we had to carry up the two skulls (we never found the third complete skull). I offered to carry up the most complete skull. 

You have to understand how steep and awful the stairs we climb up and down each day are. Uneven. They hurt, but when I had that skull in my arms, nothing else mattered. I felt so small. So insignificant. I was carrying a dead child. In that moment, all I wanted was a kid of my own. A kid to love and raise. A kid to take care of and make sure what I was carrying away from Trench 8 would never happen to. While clutching the remains of this child, nothing else in the world seemed more important than getting him or her's remains safely back to camp. It was a moment unlike any other in the world.

<3 always
Cooper

The Inevitable and June 14, 2013

Every day, around this time, roughly 7-9 pm my emotions start running rampant. These emotions usually start around the time the sun goes down where I live. I am incredibly fond of the sunsets that I get to watch from my back yard. If you follow my Instagram you already know that I devote much of my feed to the amazing sunsets from my back yard.

Not even a remote favorite, but you get my point. My backyard is B-E-A-U-tiful.

It is around this time that everything starts to really sink in. Things like, 'oh my goodness, you only get to watch 16 more of these before you're jetting off into one'. Or, 'you have to spend six months without seeing your husband. At all. He's night a short plane ride away from you'.

Last night Tucker and I visited our favorite restaurant one more time before I left. We usually go twice a year for super special occasions. It only took five minutes, but I was getting teary. La is so special to us and this was the last time we were going to be able to experience it together for quite some time. 

On the other side of that coin: I'm ecstatic. The closer I get to leaving, the more empowered I feel. Finally I get to adventure like I have always wanted to. Asia was the last place I thought I'd move, but this is my dream. I'm doing it. I'm living this out and it is actually happening. It is happening in 16 days.

6-14-13

Here is a list of everything I am going to absolutely demand for the week after I get home:
Pickles- well duh.
Chorizo, Potato, Onion, Salsa, Egg Scramble.
Steak.
Lobster.
Sausage Kale Soup.
Pickled Garlic.
Garlic Ice Cream.

8:35 PM

Today has been such a big day. Finding that human mandible was seriously a high light of mine. I really am considering going back to school for Anatomy and Biology. It gets me so damn excited. Two burials, one right on top of the other, kids, just so amazing to find. Especially after how much of a clusterf**k our trenches are post- storm. 

I miss you. Days here just feel like blurs. Life without you in it every day is the worst. You are truly my best friend. I've never missed you more. This time away has been such a test for us. I can't wait to hold you and love you. 

One more day then a break finally! Ifugao day! This afternoon I rode on top of a Jeepney in a huge rainstorm. Such a cool moment in my life.... riding on top of a car in the Philippines in a rainstorm!  

June 12-13, 2013

17 days left here. 

 6-12-2013

Holy Hangover. Holy rain. All night.

"You're the worst termite EVER!"- we have termites flying around every where and they are starting to annoy some of us.

6-13-2013

Hey Baby! 

We got a day off from digging yesterday. That storm knocked out every thing and flooded our trenches with six-eight inches of water. So basically from 10:45-6:25 I cataloged. I even cataloged an hour beyond what I was supposed to. I also got to watch/ kind of help articulate a baby skeleton we found! So excited! I was trying to identify bones. I miss Physical Anthropology. I want to get home and revamp my bone knowledge.

I just farted so loud everyone heard. FML.

Later that night.

Oh my god- I can't wait to go to Europe with you! Our first adventure Yayyyyy! I'm going to start planning in this note book. It lets me escape a little....

18 Days to Go and June 11, 2013.

I leave in 18 days. One visa down, one to go. Hours of packing. Making the decision on what stays, what is a necessity, what I can live without. This is crazy. Every day that I get closer to leaving I have minor meltdowns. My emotions are a roller coaster; the elation of finally following my dreams and living in another country for a while. Then the absolute devastation of realizing I'm only going to see my husband for a month in the next 14 months. You never really realize how important all of the little things are until you're about to move across the world without the person you spend 98% of your day with. And there are a lot of little things:

Driving to work together. Every day.
Fighting about current events.
Watching Pitch Perfect at least twice a week.
Making dinner and critiquing everything like we are Food Network judges.
Starbucks and Gloria.
Road Nuggs. 
Fights about video games.
Video Games in general.
Running around my loop.
Drinking by the pool.f
Mozz, Goo and Bozz.

I could go on and on. I can't say it enough: this is crazy.

06-11-13

My toe still hurts. A lot. I was so glad to talk to you last night. Everyone could tell how happy I was after. 

I wrote down quotes:

"How much do I owe you for the charger.... oh wait, you're not Doc"- Brent to Ollie

"In Bali, if you're a Boy/Girl twin they have to get married."- Brent
"Nooooo. I've been to Bali twice and never heard that."- Ollie
"You've never talked about twins, have you?"-Brent

"Now, can any one identify the bones on their plate??"- Adam at dinner. We are eating chicken.

"And then I realized, 'oh holy shit. I just paid $3,400 to live third world for two months'."- Joff

11:30 PM
Writing during a storm, so the writing is barely legible.

I'm writing you by the light off of my phone. Definitely the loudest rainstorm of my life. I am possibly going through a small typhoon. Wish I was joking, but I'm not. The rain is actually deafening outside. It's like being on Haunted Mansion- complete with flashes of lightening through our curtains. I wish we could cuddle baby. I look at so many pictures of you on my phone. I miss you, Turtles.

<3 Coop Cooper 

Baseball Life. Baseball Wife.

TODAY WAS EPIC.

My husband is a baseball coach for a high school team. Today was the first game of playoffs. Now, I get really, really, stressed out during Baseball games. I know I shouldn't because A. It's a High School Baseball game and B. I don't even have a kid on the team, but I do. Usually when I watch games I stay until the third inning and then I leave. I go sit in the car and calm down. I'll come back out around the seventh and watch the end of the game.

This game was unlike any other game.

The head coach is leaving this year, sadly. He is the coach who gave Tucker the position. He is the coach who has been at the school, coaching Baseball, for nearly 30 years. This man is wonderful. And we thought this was going to be his last game.

But it wasn't.

I've only been watching baseball since 2009. Before that I hadn't even watched an entire inning of Baseball. Tucker has played his entire life, but I was raised in a track and field family. Baseball was a foreign entity to me until I met Tuck. I had to act excited about the sport because Tuck played, his dad played (at Stanford) and his dad was a coach of a college world series winning team. 

When we started dating I feigned excitement, but deep down I was overwhelmed. I didn't get the sport. I didn't understand the nuances of nine innings with no time limit. I didn't get it. You want to know a little secret? I've been watching four years and I still don't understand some things. Yet, instead of dreading games like I did four years ago, I get excited. Probably too excited. I can't even sit through an entire game without getting anxious.

Anyways, this game was unreal. When I left we were up by a run. I went to a store, got some food, and then sat in my car and read a little. I decided to head back about an hour later only to realize that it was the bottom of the seventh (high school games only go seven innings) and we were the away team. When I walked up the bases were loaded. And then I realized we had no outs. My stomach sank; this entire season had been a beautiful roller coaster and it was about to end on a walk-off to a team we'd beat 14-1 the week before. I was texting updates to a player that graduated last year. I am not going to lie, I was convinced this was the end and I was so sad.  

I was standing on the fence in left field. I couldn't see the kid at bat, but I could hear him. Our pitcher threw the ball and I heard the tell-tale "PING!". 

My heart sank. 

Then I realized our short stop had caught the ball in flight. That's an out! Wait, the short just touched second!!! THAT'S an out too! Oh my god what is happening?! 

THROW IT TO FIRST!!!!  OH MY GOD, THROW IT TO FIRST! 

AND THAT IS A THIRD OUT! WE JUST WON ON A TRIPLE PLAY! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?!?!

The moment was truly surreal. I've never been so proud of my husband as a coach or his players as a team. 

Updated: NOW YOU CAN WATCH IT ALL GO DOWN!!!!

The Coffee Cup Cockroach Incident. Dated: June 9-10, 2013.

This letter to husband pretty much describes my fear of cockroaches in an action. I can distinctly remember throwing the cup at the wall and seeing that damn bug SURVIVE. THE THING SOME HOW LATCHED ON TO THE WALL LIKE SOME SH*T FROM THE MATRIX AND JUST SCUTTLED UP THE WALL AFTER THE CUP EXPLODED.

It was actually a moment straight from my nightmares.


June 9th, 2013
Early Morning- 5:50 AM

Morning started off as so: wake up. Go get my usually coffee. Pick up coffee cup. Roach so big in the bottom of the cup that I proceed to throw cup into a wall, where cup shatters. Welcome to the Philippines!

10:30 PM

Long day again. Will write you so much more in the morning. I miss you. Love you.

June 10th, 2013
Early 5:40 AM

Even though I've complained in my letters, I think I have a ton of pride in my work here. I try to work longer than I should. I try to keep complaints to a minimum. I take a few breaks. This is school is such an awesome cultural experience, but it is the most difficult thing I have ever done. 

At Hapao (our next site) we don't have running water. We probably won't have electricity. I don't even think we have doors. This whole thing is going to teach me more about myself and how strong I am as an individual. In fact, being here has made me much more motivated. I think in the last 10 days I have matured more than I have in the last five years. 

Don't take this as I'm doing fine; I am a little miserable. This is hands down the hardest thing I've ever done. I am perma-exhausted and I miss you more and more every day. I am dreading leaving on the 19th a little. Not talking to you for ten days is going to be the most difficult thing yet. 

I just found out there is an opportunity to present research papers in Cambodia in January. This is something I think I really want to do. I love you and I miss you Sunshine. You're amazing and I can't wait to be back in your arms.

<3 Cooper

Life Just Got Crazier And June 08, 2013.

As if life couldn't throw me any more curve balls. I got the news late last night that my little sister is expecting the next generation of my family. Finding words to describe how I feel about being an official Auntie ( I am an unofficial Auntie to four little ones) is difficult. Excited. Elated. Overwhelmed. Selfish. Selfish because I am glad my parents will finally get off my back about giving them a grand baby. I am, most of all, happy for my little sis. She is going to be a great parent and I am really looking forward to spoiling the sh*t out of that kid.

Moving on and a small disclaimer before you read this post: I DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE ALL GIRLS NAMED BRANDY ARE DESTINED TO BE STRIPPERS AND I KNOW A COUPLE BRANDYS WHO ARE NOT STRIPPERS AT ALL.

6-8-13
5:50 AM

I needed to sleep so bad. Right before I crashed there was a Roachpocalypse and one of the boys killed at least five in our bathroom. Everything is obviously more fun in the Philippines.

Yesterday, in trench, we started (we as in my trench mates, Doc and a guy named Adam) talking about girls named Brandy and how they are all destined to be strippers. Doc chimes in and says that one of the boy's girlfriend's name is Brandy, so we all take back what we just said. Later in the night the boy and I are talking and "No Phone" by Cake comes on his IPod. I told him that "No Phone" would most definitely would have been my stripper song, to which he responds, "My girlfriend just quit her job as a stripper."

I DIED.

<3 Cooper



Naturally you can tell my absolute hatred and terror of cockroaches in each of my letters to Tucker. Later, as you will see, I become less and less afraid of roaches. I even smashed one with my OWN shoe in Batad. Monumental moment in my life and I still refer to it when I need to demonstrate my abilities to overcome obstacles.

Chaos and The Entry from June 7th, 2013.

Life has officially reached epic chaos status. It happened. 43 days to go and it happened. I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 43 days, but I have a good feeling it is going to be full of wine, packing,, calling Mom, calling Grandma, sending ungodly amounts of Facebook messages to my best friend (who is currently in Chile, being a bad ass bitch), annnnnnnnd crying. Probably a lot of crying.

I dropped my visa application off today and things got a whole lot more real in a matter of seconds. About as real as they can get now. Not seeing Tucker for six months is a long time. An incredibly long time.  Tonight's journal entry is especially mushy.

6-7-13
10:30 PM

I am an inch away from a mental collapse. Been trying to hold it together, but today has been rough of me. I am sad, local kids saw me naked. Today has just been rough. I am mentally drained- one of the boy's birthday is tomorrow so we get to party.

Most of my nights are spent thinking about how much I miss you. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, I am going to cuddle with you SO MUCH when I get home. I'm sorry I complain about it when I am home.  Cuddling is what I miss the most. Touching you, laying in bed and all of our laughter over the silliest stuff. I miss you so much. You're so amazing. Our life is so amazing. I must have done something right. I got to bed every night dreaming of you. I love you so much Tucker.

Love- Cooper

I Hit The Wall Of Absolute Sadness. Dated: June 06, 2013

I was reading back through more of my journal entries from last Summer. I honestly got really teary reading a few of the final entries. The ones I wrote to Tucker on my last few days in the Philippines. I wrote about how the place changed my life. The Philippines changed me fundamentally, as a human, for the better. I can only hope that one day everyone can have an adventure that changes the way they see the world, just like I did and I plan to keep doing.

Our world is a beautiful place and it would be a damn shame to not see every inch of it as possible.

06-06-2013
Late Night (Like 11:15 PM)

Hey Baby,

Sorry I keep telling you I'll get to talk to you late at night. Life gets too busy and it is actually impossible to get back to SITMO. SO i can just write to you instead. 

I hit the wall of absolute sadness today. Part of me is not wanting to FaceTime you any more because it makes me so sad. I've never missed you so much. The best part of thinking about coming home is knowing that on my birthday, that very next day, I get to wake up in bed in your arms.

I Want to Sleep For Days- Dated: June 06, 2013

Life in the Philippines, particularly Ifugao, is night and day different than life in San Jose, California. This post highlights just a few of the differences I began to recognize at the beginning of my stay. Luckily I was able to adapt quickly. Kiangan gave me a renewed sense of my surroundings. The town taught me so much about myself and the things in my life I take for granted.




June 06, 2013 
Early Morning 5:20 AM
Pot Dimensions: 
Diameter- 14 Cm
Height- 6 Cm

I wish I could write you at night, but there is always too much happening by 9. I want to sleep for days. The beginning of work yesterday was awesome! I dug up a (possible) Placenta Pot! A FULL ONE TOO #Beginner'sluck. The interesting this is that we don't know why the pot is where it is- we can't figure it out why it is alone or why it is placed where it is. Usually when the team finds a pot like that it denotes a baby burial. Beneath the top pot is usually another with a baby skeleton. They've found two at our site- one last year and one early yesterday during test probes! But beneath my pot was just more rock. Pretty amazing that something 35 Cm below ground surface could still be intact. 

Right now my trench is roughly 50 Cm below ground, so juts over a foot deep. We are still in the Agricultural layer. The Agro layer is basically whatever is either covered or dug up during the rice cultivation. So after Agro layer (which my trench is still in) we hit Cultural layer. Which will hopefully be what I shall name "Archaeological Find Pay-dirt". I really hope we dig up this village. 

After two days I already I have a huge attachment to our site. Yesterday I got to play with my first Plumbob. Great name, right? We mapped, which at first I f***ing hated, but even by the third day I am starting to fall in love with this routine. Wake up, get coffee, write you, plug my phone in, change, eat, jeepney, write in journal, dig, map, lunch, dig or screen, clean up, jeepney, home, either shower or potwash or accession, SITMO to text you, more post-field work, dinner, a beer, sleep. Wake up at 5 AM- repeat.

So far every one is pretty cool. I don't think we guessed field work was going to be so hard. Field school isn't easy, especially in the Philippines where bugs are f***ing massive and scary and we have no running water. Going abroad is never easy, but Kiangan is its own brand of difficult. Life here is very different. Slow. I already can't wait to take a hot shower or use a toilet that has a proper seat. 

But the plus sides of this place: The people are beautiful and hospitable. They love to wave at us. It makes me happy. I already love it here, even with all the cockroaches. I will be interested to see how the group dynamic progresses.

Last night there were kids practicing a dance out in the courtyard of our hostel. June 17th is Ifugao day and the ten surrounding provinces meet and have a parade and dance competition with their regional dances. I was amazing watching the kids, but I made them nervous. I could tell. While I watched I became jealous and sad; I was envious of having a culture with traditional dancing. I realized how vanilla my upbringing was and yearned for a rich cultural history like the people of Kiangan. In that moment, I realized that the dancing kids and I were probably thinking the same things- except on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

Out to the field, I miss you to the moon-
<3 Cooper

Mini Post

I am getting closer and closer to leaving. The date is tentatively June 27th because I need to be back in Manila by the 29th for our first day of Field School. Between now (May 6th) and then I have a plateful of garbage to finish. Visa applications, plane tickets, logistics, packing, cleaning, work, life. I keep going in waves. One minute I am jumping for joy that I will be moving across the world to follow my dreams, the next minute I start to realize all of the ducks I have to force into a line before I get there.

Tucker and I have been talking quite a bit about my big move. Breaching subjects like why now? How long do you thing you're going to be gone? I don't know. I can be about as indecisive as they get, but when I finally make up my mind I am going to dive head first in to whatever I do. I'll write more later about what I fully realized about my "big move". It still seems a little too surreal.